A sad story about a family I no longer have

Chapter 12: bilbo

Caerwyn had been standing there for five minutes, hiding. She had been observing Thorin, trying to get more of an idea of what to expect when she finally addressed him. To tell the truth, though, she had only gathered as much as she had already learned. He was in a state of madness. Gathering her confidence, Caerwyn stepped out of hiding and began to take the stairs down to the gold. She cautiously looked up at Thorin every other step or so, but he didn't seem to notice she was there. Caerwyn couldn't make her steps silent when her boots touched the gold coins, though, and she saw him stop. However, she kept going, walking at a steady pace with her hands folded in front of her.

"Thorin?"

He turned to face Caerwyn, and she could now clearly see the change in him. Thorin looked exhausted, but still running on some energy source that Caerwyn could not place. There was look to his eyes unlike any Caerwyn had seen in them before, and it made her feel more cautious. However, she tried to make it seem like she was calm as he approached her, eyes focused on her as he closed the distance between them. Caerwyn knelt, bowing her head in respect as he came to a stop before her, raising it when he said her name.

"Caerwyn...you live," he said, in awe. "I do live," Caerwyn assured him. "I live to fight another day, and to see the halls of Erebor, just as I promised."

"And what do you think?" Thorin asked, gesturing with a hand out to bring her attention to the gold surrounding them, as if Caerwyn could have missed it. "Truly, it is beyond anything I imagined," Caerwyn replied with honesty. "I cannot imagine what it must have felt like, to have Smaug finally leave the halls of your forebears."

His expression darkened, and for a moment Caerwyn feared that she had said something wrong. However, a haunting smile lifted his lips, and although it was no less unsettling, Caerwyn was assured that she was not the reason behind his change of face. "It was glorious," Thorin said, glancing up at the structure of the hall above him. "With the foul serpent gone, the treasure of the mountain belongs to its people once more." Caerwyn stood there still. Still adjusting to the 'new' Thorin.

...

"Caerwyn?" Caerwyn turned her head and sat up to see Bilbo nearby. Worry made lines in his face, but was especially heavy in his eyes. All the cheer Caerwyn had seen when he had told her about the Shire was gone. The Hobbit, too, had changed. As to how, Caerwyn was uncertain at the moment. She beckoned for him to sit with her, and so he did. "What happened when you spoke to Thorin?" His tone sounded guarded, but Caerwyn could still hear kind concern in his voice. "I do not know if he means what he says to anyone, now," Caerwyn murmured. "With the way he is changing, I wouldn't dare place my hope in any words I hear from him."

"He didn't hurt you, did he?" Caerwyn shook her head. "I was expecting that. I anticipated that he would ignore me, perhaps forget matters of my braid and the like entirely, but...he remembered. He was clear of mind, Bilbo, and that is what scares me."

"Caerwyn , what exactly did Thorin say to you?" Caerwyn hesitated for a moment before answering him. "From what I can gather, he means to release me from my oath so that I might find my home in the mountain."

"Would you stay here?" Bilbo's question was almost spoken too quietly for Caerwyn to hear, but she managed to catch it. "If Thorin was not sick, and I knew he really wanted me here, I could see my home in the halls of Erebor," Caerwyn whispered. Even as Caerwyn spoke, as doubted her words. There was no guarantee that Thorin would get better, and the atmosphere felt hostile around him. Every step felt watched and evaluated as either threat or ally, and even though Thorin had been kind to Caerwyn, she saw the looks he would give to his own kin. It seemed that the only people he didn't treat with as much harshness was herself and Bilbo. If anything, she would think that, with them being the two who differed from the rest of the group, that they would be the ones he would regard with suspicion.

"Will you stay?" Caerwyn asked, the words escaping her mouth before she could think about what she was saying. Bilbo looked back up at Caerwyn with a small smile, shaking his head. "As close to the company as I've grown to be, the Shire will always be my home." "I do not mean to sound like I wish you to leave, but...I'm curious. The mountain has been reclaimed, so why don't you stay?" He didn't need time to come up with an answer. "Thorin is not in his right mind. I know the others should be alright here without protection, but I have an uneasy feeling."

"You, too?" Caerwyn questioned.

He furrowed his brow at Caerwyn in confusion, so she explained, readjusting to sit so she was facing him. "By now, most of Middle Earth will know that the mountain had been reclaimed by the heir to the throne of Erebor. I have been thinking about it, and as joyous as the news may be to some, it could serve to be an invitation of war. What about the Orcs that have been on our tail this whole time?" Bilbo nodded, now sitting to face her. "Thorin will protect the riches here to the very end, before even kin, I fear," he said in a whisper. "No doubt that he will put defences in place. But as to what might happen if we have a war on our hands? I do not know and am hesitant to find out." Caerwyn felt happy that she had someone that she could talk to about this matter.

"Surely, the others must realise this," Caerwyn said, the gears in her head turning. "If not everyone, then Balin, especially. He would tell Thorin of the possible dangers ahead, but it becomes another matter entirely if his king heeds his words or not."

"So, what do we do?" Caerwyn thought for a moment before standing up. "We need to prevent war. Although it is not at our doorstep yet, we must think of it as being so." Bilbo suddenly broke eye contact with Caerwyn to look around him, although Caerwyn felt that we were completely alone. However, the feeling could be deceiving, and although Caerwyn wasn't yet sure why he was checking, she could see why he would. Soon, he sat back down before her, a finger to his lips to caution Caerwyn into being quiet. She nodded in understanding, watching with curiosity as he reached into his coat pocket. However, the curiosity was replaced by awe and dread when Bilbo presented what could only be the Arkenstone.

It shone with a light all its own, and if Caerwyn wasn't mistaken, she could hear a soft humming come from it. Caerwyn took care not to show any drastic change of expression on her face as he quickly put it back in his jacket, then thought of a way to talk about it without explicitly mentioning the gem. "Should we bring our worry to Thorin's attention?" Caerwyn asked, hoping the Hobbit caught on to my meaning. He did. "I don't think so. In fact, I think it may only make him worse for wear. He's just gotten rid of a dragon from his homeland, and the gold is taking its toll on him."

"So, we keep our worries to ourselves," Caerwyn agreed. "Will it be only for now? Will there be a point when it would be beneficial to tell him?"

Bilbo thought for a moment. "They are not thoughts that have evaded his mind completely, I'm sure. I believe he thinks the others share our worries to some extent, but he doesn't...he doesn't like that they might worry."