My Sunflowers

Cupid's Chokehold

I fell into a deep dark hole. I had no idea what I had done or how to get back from it but I did something bad and I had to figure out how to escape. As Harry slept in the bed next to me, my brain started thinking about the people on the balcony I noticed that afternoon. They all saw me. Since my previous tabloid issues, I stopped. I stopped looking, but for some reason, lying there in the dark I couldn't help but reach my hand over unplugging my phone and bringing the blankets up and over my head so that my phone light didn't wake up Harry. As I pulled up the google search bar I wasn't even sure what to type in, so I typed the most obvious thing.

Harry Styles. About 275,000,000 results.

"Great," I said, forgetting I was trying not to wake Harry. I quickly flung my hand to my mouth scanning my eyes over the body I could see laying perfectly still- still sleeping- under the blanket. I sighed, turning my gaze back to my phone. The first result I saw was Harry's website and his Wikipedia page. That wasn't exactly what I was looking for so I continued scrolling. The next thing I saw was a Twitter link.

#RUMOR| Harry is currently filming something in Naples!

I quickly clicked on the link, opening a Harry Styles Updates page. There were three pictures present. One of a light blue Vespa and two others talked about Harry landing in Italy and him doing a mysterious shoot but some of the information was redacted. It was all very top-secret, as to not spill what he was doing.

I continued to scroll, reading the comments from Harry's fans. I clicked the search bar of Twitter and repeated what I did on the google search. I typed Harry Styles and hit enter. There were so many results and as I began to scroll I began to fall into a rabbit hole of sorts. I read everything I could. People loved him. There were posts about his music, posts about the way he looked, posts about fanfiction. Coming to a post about fanfiction called Duplicity, that everyone seemed to really love, I saved the link. Knowing I would probably regret that later, I continued my scroll. There didn't seem to be anything about me which I was really grateful for. Then I saw it.

The angle was perfect. Right from where I noticed them. It was a picture taken from the balcony. You couldn't really make out my face, since Harry was standing in front of me, but I knew it was me. His hand was on my belly, but I was glad it looked like it was just on my hip. I ripped my eyes from the picture so that I could read the caption.

Harry on the set of his mysterious shoot with who we suspect to be DJ CRIST.

I didn't really know what the public knew about our relationship and I hadn't cared to ask Harry. It wasn't about them. It was only about Harry and me. It was our lives and deep down I really hated that millions of people knew about them and decided it was okay to have opinions on them but that was the life. I couldn't bear to look at the comments that went along with this post but I couldn't help myself. I needed to know.

What is he doing?

JFC

Who is she?

Why is he holding her like that?

Are they together? Does anyone know yet?

I'm calling it now. He's filming a MV for Golden and she's in it.

How long have they known each other?

Hate her.

Lucky Bitch.

He is so hot.

I rolled my eyes, trying not to let anything being said to get to me. It didn't matter what anyone else said. They didn't know me. I pushed away from the post and quickly clicked on the link I saved. I needed a distraction and I was squirming to find out what these fanfiction writings were like anymore. I had read and funnily enough wrote them back when I was younger, but they were always so cheesy and dumb. I wondered if they were the same thing I remembered from my childhood.