My Sunflowers

Tick Tock

Waking up was different now. I didn't feel suffocated anymore. The exact opposite actually. I wanted him closer. I peeled my eyes open automatically searching for him. He was asleep, as far on the other side of the bed as he could get. I chuckled at the look of him. Any farther over and he would have fallen. I knew why he was over there and thinking about him doing that for me brought butterflies to my stomach. As a slight snore left his nose, I began to fall in love with him all over again, and that was when it hit me. He didn't know. I hadn't told him yet. That I loved him. He told me right before I left but I never said it back. He didn't know that I loved him too.

I slowly rolled closer to him so that we were touching. He was laying on his stomach, his arms underneath his pillow. I brought my head right next to his bent elbow and rolled over to my side so that my body was now halfway on him, throwing my right arm over his upper back. Wincing at the slight pain from where my bare breasts were squished between us. I was there only for a second before I could feel his breathing change.

"What are you doing?" I heard him ask through the pillow.

"You were so far away, I wanted to be closer," I said into his skin, my face pressed into the crook of his neck now, breathing in his scent.

"I wanted to give you room to breath. I didn't want to cause your claustrophobia to flare up," he said what I already knew.

"You don't have to worry about that anymore where you are involved,'' I said.

"And why is that?" he asked, turning his body so that I was still above him but I was now pressed into his front, his eyes coming to meet mine, his arms wrapping around my naked back, my own coming up, allowing my head to rest on top of my hands. My uncovered upper half being warmed by the heat I missed so much. He was right in his letter, I did love it that I had my own personal heater.

"I missed you too much, I would rather have you closer than far apart, and it is different now. I love you. You are a part of me. Where you are concerned, it isn't a matter of breathing around you anymore. I just breathe with you now," I told him honestly, no longer scared of what he would think. He sat silent for a minute taking in the words I just spoke. I was waiting for him to realize what I had said and it didn't take him long. He pulled his hand off my back, bringing it up and moving the hair that had fallen in my face, back behind my ear.

"Say it again," he said, running his thumb over my cheek. He didn't have to tell me what, I knew what he wanted to hear.

"I love you," I said, peering into his eyes.

"I love you too," he said, bringing his lips to mine. I could stay like this forever, but I knew we needed to leave for the venue soon. He moved his lips from mine, resting his head back down on the pillow, his eyes never leaving mine.

"I'm nervous."

"About?" he asked, bringing his hand back down to my back.

"Going to the venue. Seeing everyone. I'm afraid they are all going to be mad at me," I said honestly.

"No they won't," he said in a sure voice. "They are going to be so excited to see you. Not as excited as me of course, but excited," he said, with a chuckle.

"Okay smart ass," I said through a laugh, bringing my hand and swatting at his chest, leaving my hand there and running my thumb along his new tattoo again. As quickly as my peace came in seeing him, my anxiety began to replace it. "I am going to take a shower and get ready," I said, pushing my body off of him. Before I could move any further off the bed, his fingers wrapped around my wrist stopping me.

"I love you," he said to me again, bringing a smile to my face.

"I love you too," I said back. I climbed off the bed, grabbing my phone from the pocket of my pants that laid on the ground, from where Harry threw them last night. I quickly moved to the bathroom, closing the door behind me. I turned the shower on making sure the knob was turned too hot. I didn't need it as hot as before but some heat was still nice to drown out any of my problems. I quickly turned on my newly made playlist, knowing I would need it, and stepped into the shower allowing the heat to hit my head and fall down my back. Any other face that might have popped into my head was quickly pushed away by the songs that reminded me of my times with Harry. I was lost in the music and the heat, only picturing Harry in my head. I knew of nothing else at that moment. Just the water, the song, and Harry.