K-Pop Imagines (Mainly TXT on accident)

You Can Rest Now pt. 2 | Yeonbin 🖤🌸

A/N: Sequel to 'You Can Rest Now'.

Yeonjun looked at the old picture on his old Instagram account, taking a shaky breath before starting to type.

'Every day for the past five years, I've had to wake up without you. Eat breakfast without you, and go out to live my life without you.

I'd consider myself lucky though. I got to say goodbye to you. I got to hold your hand in your last moments and watch you take your last breath. Not a lot of people get to say goodbye to the people they love before they die, but I'm thankful I was able to.

I found someone new, a couple of years ago. His name is Taehyun, and he introduced me to his two friends, Beomgyu and Kai. Don't worry. Taehyun treats me well. No matter how good he treats me though, I can't help but need you.

When I cry, I hold your hoodie close to me. When I need reassurance or guidance, I look at a picture of you and I ask for your advice. You've heard me, right?

One time Taehyun caught me doing this.

I had never told him about you, in fear that he would try to pity me or something. But that night I broke down in his arms and told him about you. I told him about all our memories, our childhood, your sickness. I think that made him love me even more. It made him think I was strong.

So whenever I talk about you, he listens. He listens to me and asks about you, tells me about how great of a person you seem. He said he wished he could meet you because you remind him a lot of himself.

But I don't see it.

Last year on Christmas, we got engaged. I love Taehyun so much, but every time I look at my engagement ring, I wonder what it would be like if it were us getting married.

One of the reasons I love him is because I don't think he would be mad that I said that. He knows it still pains me that you're not here. He knows he's not my soul mate, but he tries, and I'm thankful for him.

I'm not over you, Choi Soobin. I never will be over you. The initial shock and pain went away, but it still hurts me every time I'm reminded of you. To say "reminded of you"... it's been so long that I'm at a point where you're always on my mind, but you're not the main thing there.

What happened?

Am I crazy?

No, I'm not crazy. I'm just dealing with a heart that's been broken ever since I gave you permission to rest.

You went through so much pain, agony, just to keep me happy. The chemo was hurting you, but Wooyoung said you wanted me to be happy. Why did you do it? Was it because you loved me? I would've done the same thing if I was in your shoes, but it still makes me feel guilty that you did something like that for me.

That guilt hasn't gone away. The feeling that I could've done something different hasn't gone away. My love for you hasn't gone away. It's crazy. I have a fiancé, but you're still the person I care about the most.

I think about how much I love you, and then I think about how excited I am to see you again. I'm standing on my balcony writing this, and I can't help but look up at the stars and moon.

I see you in the moon. So bright, lighting the way. Looking down on me, protecting me.

And now I'm smiling like an idiot.

Words will not ever be able to express my love for you. I always told you that. Because honestly, you're one of a kind Soobin. You always will be. No one will ever be able to take your place in my heart and the world.

I have to get going.

Next time we talk, I'll be married, and I'll still be thinking of you everyday.

I'm coping through knowing we'll meet again. In some other life, in the spirit realm, we'll meet again.

Just wait for me, okay?

I'll be there. But for now, I'll just wait here until I can see your beautiful smile in person again.

I hope you're proud of me.

XOXO,
Choi Yeonjun'