Flying through the Boulevard (Bons Amis Series #4)

Kabanata 24

When Damon got out of the bathroom, he saw me packing up my things. He asked if he could help me, hindi naman ako pumayag. It looks like he's already pushing me away e. Mutual naman ang decision namin but I'm also hoping that Damon would stop me, that he will push me to change my mind pero mukhang malabong mangyari. Tinanggap ko na lang talaga ang katotohanang hindi kami magwowork-out. I thought we did pero kalaunan biglang lumabo.

Siguro kinulang ako sa pag-twerk ko kaya hindi na effective. Sa ibang pwet na siguro siya nakatingin ngayon.

He's lying on the bed, ready to go to sleep pero parang hindi pa ako itulog ang gabing ito. Nang maisarado ko na naman ang maleta ko, itinulak ko naman ito malapit sa pinto para hindi ako mahirapang hatakin iyon palabas ng kwarto. I took a deep breath and let it out when I'm finally done with it.

"Are you going to leave tomorrow, Ysabelle?" Napalingon ako ng tanungin ako ni Damon.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know... Maybe," sagot ko sa kanya.

"If you will, I'll make Loren tell it to Kuya Matias so he can drives you back home. Is that alright?"

Tumango ako bilang sagot. "Sure, that's fine... Pero may tanong lang ako, Damon and it doesn't matter if you answer it honestly or not at all. I don't care but I just want to hear it from you. Why does it feel like it's easy for you, for us to to separate? Like, hindi mo ba ako pipigilan?"

Umayos si Damon mula sa pagkakaupo niya sa kama at huminga ng malalim. "I want you to stay... But I don't want to stop you doing what you love. And this isn't about the issue with my Mom anymore. It is about you doing what you love and maybe loving me isn't the best thing for you. But I care, Ysabelle. I do." He smiled as if it meant to make me feel fine but somehow, deep inside of me, it tears me apart.

Pero ito ang reality. Kahit nga 'yong ibang magkarelasyon na umaabot ng pitong taon, naghihiwalay. Kami pa kayang ilang linggo pa lang nagkakakilala pero paano tatabunan ang attachments? Paano mag-move on na ihiwalay ang sarili sa nakasayanan na?

I slowly nod my nod to accept what he said to me. Dahan-dahan naman akong tumalikod at hinarap ang pinto.

"Where are you going? It's bedtime." Aniya. May pagtataka pa sa boses niya. Does he really think na gusto ko pang tumabi sa kanya sa pagtulog matapos ang desisyon naming dalawa? I really don't get Damon. May iba tuloy akong kutob pero baka hanggang kutob lang din 'yon.

Hindi na ako lumingon sa kanya. "Just going to the garden, I'll just give my parents a call that I'll be coming home." Pagpapaliwanag ko pero hindi na niya ako sinagot kaya tuluyan na akong lumabas ng pinto at pakiramdam ko nakahinga ako ng maluwag. I felt suffocated. Ang laki-laki ng bahay niya pero feeling ko nakakulong ako. Pakiramdam ko, wala akong kalayaan dito.

I headed downstairs and found everyone's already away. May ilang area na nakapatay na ang ilaw at mukhang nagpapahinga na rin ang ibang mga maids at staffs. And so I thought this could be a good time to have a solo time, reflects on what has been happening lately and how this became my world for a short period of time.

Before I headed out to the garden, may malikot na ideyang pumasok sa isip ko at dali-dali naman akong idinala ng paa ko papunta sa bar area. Binuksan ko naman ang ilaw at ang umilaw naman ay ang spotlight sa ibabaw kung saan nakatutok iyon sa mga bote sa shelves. I think that's enough for me to look what's best for me.