City of Love [Zaintsee]

Chapter 19

Dedicated to HyoLee21

Zee came back to his apartment unit which he now owned and the one which he planned in living with Saint. He was still fuming when he thought about how touchy that Cedric was getting and what all they might do when Zee is not around.

Zee screamed in frustration and the noise echoed through the half-empty apartment. All the boxed furniture was still laying around since Zee did not have time to unpack and arrange them, he thought that Saint would be able to help him with it and probably they could arrange their home together. By the looks of it it wasn't going to happen anymore, fell on the plastic wrap covered couch and looked up at the ceiling, all the memories they shared last summer came flooding back to him, Saint's baby-like face in the bright sunlight, his sense of helping others, his straight forward comments, his cute laughs and giggles, his voice, the day they went shopping at the flea market, the fun and finally their kiss.

Zee smiled when he thought about all that, but all those memories were being replaced by Saint smiling at Cedric the way he should be smiling at him, tears started flowing from Zee's eyes. His chest felt numb and it felt like his heart was beating with a nail in it. The pain was so unbearable and he broke down, he started crying out loud and there was no one to comfort him, he started blaming himself, he felt like he made a stupid decision to leave Saint and now he is really with someone else.

Only then heaven knows how much he had to refrain from not kissing Saint first that evening they had sex. Zee thought he had everything for a few minutes when his body was attached to Saint's and the next moment everything was snatched away from him. Zee walked to his bedroom, while crying, he opened his unpacked bags hoping he would find some napkin to wipe his tears and that's when he found something.

He had packed some lube while leaving home, he was very confident and excited that they would be needed a lot and only his head knew how he had imagined all the fun they would have using it. He held it tight in his hand and yelled in frustration, he threw it on the floor with full force and sat on his bed.

He spoke to himself "I am not going to give up so easily, he belongs to me and he loves me. It doesn't matter if he is with that asshole, I knew from the beginning that he is the one for me. I am going to fight for him, and make him mine again. I don't care if I hurt myself or even if I hurt him in the process"

***

Saint reached home and he waited for his mother to arrive because he had to tell her what he has been going through the whole year. He knew he wanted help; the only reason he hid his mental state was that he did not want his mother to worry about him. Saint knew now was the time to let her know and go through treatment because the attacks were not getting any better.

Amy came home and Saint insisted her to sit down for a moment and said he wants to talk to her. Amy immediately knew that it was something serious and as always she prioritized her son first and waited for him to start.

"Mom" Saint started

"What is it? Is it something serious?" Amy asked with concern.

"Well, I'm thinking of going through therapy" Saint let out and Amy gasped

"Why? What is wrong?" She asked trying hard not to make Saint notice that she is freaking out and worrying like crazy

"Mom, I've been having anxiety attacks"

"From when?"

"Almost a year, it started from the day I came home fully drenched in the rain"

"Please don't tell me it's because of him" Amy slipped it by accident.