Beyoncé
My eyes snap open and I see Megan all up in my face. I know my schedule starts early tonight with some semi-risky behavior but she looks a little too scared for me to be secure in my plans just yet. But then again it's Megan. I shouldn't be trusting her expressions and euphemisms just yet.
"You got a line." She tells me in a confused voice.
Right, I didn't tell her about it my business.
She finally moves her tall ass away from my cot and I check for my customers.
It's barely time to head to the showers and I peek out the cell door window. About 5 girls from D-block on the custodian shift. I poke around the darkness for the door so I can hear them better. Then I poke around one of my drawers to find a pen and notepad.
"Ight tell me whatchu need." I do an awkward bent over pose so I can hear them whisper into the hole.
It's morning and I'm not interested in getting caught by any officer other than Higgins.
I write down what they ask for. Everyday items, I don't do drugs. The least I can do is help out some girls with extra candy and pictures of their kids and celebrity crushes. I will admit I was a bit short with them but that's the risk of showing up at these early-ass hours. Higgins catches us and he's gonna have all of our asses eating out of his shoe and drinking from his cock-hole. He can only cover for so long.
The girls speed away and since I'm awake, I don't bother to go back to sleep. Don't bother to make my bed just yet either and lay on my back to twiddle my thumbs. Megan lays in her bed facing me. On everything, I swear this girl sees through me. I'm scared of her.
I soften the mug in my face since it's dark when I hear her breathing shift. See? She can read me in some shape form/manner.
"That all you sell?" She asks.
I nod and hum, "Why, you want somethin'?"
"No thank you."
I don't know how to get her to talk more, I'll admit, I love her voice.
"What's your favorite color?"
Really, Beyoncé?
"Why?" I hear the confusion in her voice.
"We live together and there's a while til we gotta go get cleaned up."
Megan smiles and so do I in the comfort of the dark.
"It's blue. Like ocean blue."
"Why?"
"Ion know. I just always liked it." She shrugs. "Coulda sworn you was a cranky ass bitch but you—-"
I scoff pretending to act offended. Maybe I'm more open and vocal because she's one of the few girls in the past 8 years that has even remotely sparked non-forced conversation with me. Something in me tells me otherwise and my head is telling me to shut it down.
"You nice."
She isn't so bad after all, but how can I guarantee self control? I'm worried about me now.
____
Dinner was fine.
Megan sat somewhere else, for some reason I felt bothered even though we don't have assigned seating. I spent the time playing with my food and eating it in even intervals of seconds.
I did have a friend in here once. She completely embodied what I'm known as. Fought frequently, got drugs in here, slept around with other inmates and guards alike then left them.
She didn't need to be in jail though. She needed mental help and compensation of some kind. She was destined to fail.
Megan doesn't remind me of her, I do. The same way Adrien went out of her way to be nice to me exclusively out of every once else in the facility. That is what I fear for myself. I know I'm gonna break my own rules, but will I break the distance I want from everyone else?
Megan's stomach grumbles loudly and I turn to face her.
"You a midnight snacked?"
"No."
I clear my throat, "So you ain't eat?"
"Mmm-mmm after a couple spoons it just wasn't going in."
"I get it." Mindlessly, I move to lift up the mattress.
I ignore the little voice in my head that's yelling at me for being nice. Mean-hard ass Knowles has completely left the area.
"C'mere."
I hear Megan's bed creak and a tall presence by my side.
"Hurry and choose sum."
"Aw, thanks so much, Beyo—-" she says excitedly.
"Girl you're welcome, hurry up though and shut up."
Once she starts wrinkling the bag my toes curl. I like her but she's about to get us caught.
