tu vas dècaler

i wonder

im not the main character
what does that mean?
it means i dont have my own story
it means no one cares about me
it means no one loves me
it means no one knows me

i dont get the happy ending
im just the kid in the background complaining
im just in the background comparing
my whole life to what i see on TV
there isnt much there
i dont think its fair
that everyone gets a story but me
that everyone gets to be confident
but when i am its unlikable

people will put you down
when your happy
when your confident
thats just what happens
some people hate you
but you must be kind
an example to follow
but they all hate you

your just an asshole
your just so selfish
you cant be unhappy
that isnt how it works
everything you need
is right in your hand
yet your tears stain the page
listing all that you have

you are to skinny
but dont put on weight
your hair is to short
but you cant grow it out
your clothes are to baggy
but now theyre to tight
maybe eat less?
why arent you eating?
be less lazy
why dont you sleep
why dont you relax
why dont you stop
why dont you calm down

i just need some help
i just need some guidnace
i tried so hard to ask
when i did i was shot down
why dont you ask for help?
why
why
why
why dont you help me.
why
why
why
why
why
why

why dont you talk to me?
maybe cause your judgemental
maybe cause your a prude
you just wouldnt understand
i know that you wont
i have to work so hard
to not hurt your feelings
yet im told to put in effort
that i dont try hard enough
and when i express hurt
im overreacting
im pretending
im guilt tripping
im faking
im hurting your feeling
when i express concerns
im criticising you
im insulting you
im jumping on you at every opportunity
it hurting your feelings?

im hurting your feelings
im hurting your feelings.
im hurting your feelings.
im hurting. your feelings.
im hurting
your feelings.

i wonder why i dont talk to you.
i wonder why i avoid you.
i wonder why i dont like you.
i wonder why you dont know me.
i wonder why i dont trust you.