Shuffled: When the Cards Talk You Must Listen

Chapter 22 You Exist

By Friday the weather had turned yet again.

I tossed out the comedic condiment dragon idea and went back to what I had started the last class, the spring fairy dragon. Actually I'm sure it's going to be named something else. I just don't know what is quiet yet. And I can't forget the lonely dragon I have penciled in on that other canvas in the corner of the classroom. Ya know I really do have to decide which dragon I'm going to work on first. And I HAVE to finish one. 

By Friday I was beginning to feel that loneliness of Autumn that always seemed to 'fall' over me right before my birthday. Ever since the year we moved after that first boy girl party I've never gotten to have a real birthday party. Of course my mom being gone didn't help anything in the loneliness department.

All my birthdays were just me and my mom. It was lonely, but I found comfort in that little bit of consistency. Somehow my birthdays always highlighted how empty my life had become. I was never able to make a good solid group of friends, and if I ever did it always seemed like it was time to move again. Only, this year it's worse because I haven't seen my mom in over two weeks. I know she has been home. I just know it! Things keep getting moved around in the house.

It was becoming commonplace for something to go missing. Either in my room, or the living room. Everywhere only to turn up again the next day across the room, or even later that night just in a different room. I'd blame faeries if I believed in them.

These grey, cloudy days where the clouds hung low in the sky, and seemed to suck all the color out of the brightly colored trees, always made me feel isolated. The mist and fog that often covered the ground always brought on this otherworldly feeling, like I was always walking in a world that was just a half a step away from the rest of the world.

And to be completely honest I'm... well I'm, sad. I miss my mom. We have never gone this long without seeing or talking to each other. And now I feel like she is purposely trying to avoid me.

Maybe I should start on that lonely dragon painting after all. She could be blue-grey like the clouds outside, or the shade of Mr. Burnby's eyes.

I've been staring, listlessly at him as he waltzes back and forth droning on and on about the English poets and their importance in modern literature.

I mean I'm sure he is not wrong but is it wrong for me to wish I had a teacher like that guy in Dead Poets Society? You know that one played by Robin Williams? The room was too hot, the sky outside was grey and dreary AGAIN! And I was tired! I laid my head on my left hand and doodled with my right as my mind wandered.

Scenes from the Little Books I'd been reading mixed with the poetry the teacher was talking about began to combine inside the theatre of my mind.

RIIIINNNNGGGGGG!!!!!!

The bell signaling the end of this class period blared over the loudspeakers and I practically fell out of my desk, I jumped so hard. God, did I even take any notes?

"So, you fall asleep or something?" a cool deep voice asked as I leaned down to pick up my fallen books.

"UM No. I just kinda dazed out a bit is all." I said as I stood up and froze. I was looking straight into Jerry's bright green eyes. Today I noticed that they were like light emeralds, almost like jade. I flushed, I don't remember ever actually getting this close of a look at them. Normally it's the twins or Conal that have gotten up in my face. Jerry's eyes were really pretty.

"I, uh, do that sometimes." I falter.

Today felt different. He wasn't picking on me. He wasn't looming over me. He wasn't tossed up in the middle of his 'Pack'. Today it was just Jerry and he 'felt different', nicer, sweeter, softer. I don't know, maybe I did fall asleep or something. Heck maybe I was still dreaming. Or maybe I fell out of my chair and bumped my head and I was dreaming.