Shuffled: When the Cards Talk You Must Listen

Chapter 1 The Sage

THE SAGE

Wisdom: Hidden Knowledge: Retreat: Old Age: Patience

Edited Sept. 14th 2020

Blinding, flashing lights spun and swirl around me. Off balance, completely disoriented I felt acutely uncomfortable.
Deafening Music thumbed around me it vibrated my chest and bombarded my ear drums.
I felt awash in the sound of joyful and anguished screams. The voices of children and adults alike overwhelmed me.
There was riotous laughter from impassioned teens. The ever present hawking of the carnies crowding the lanes of the carnival.
The cacophony of it all was just to much.
If I close my eyes I could probably see the sound vibrations like you could see light streaming through a window pane.

"Come Play My Games! Where Everyone's a Winner!" A carny dressed in a velvet tailcoat screamed from his balloon pop game.

"Hot dogs! Get your hot dogs here! "

"Mommy I want that bear! I want that bear!" Screeches a little girl, who would have been cute if she wasn't being such a brat.

I wanted to cover my ears and flee! Run to the edge of the throng of people and just disappear. Everything was just so overwhelming.

The smells of too strong perfumes, alcohol, tobacco, body odor, food, and even vomit fused together to make a stench all its own. My stomach churned. I had to swallow back the bile that rose in the back of my throat. How do people not notice this stuff? It's everywhere!

The surge of bodies pushing and jostling me was like the tides of the ocean, threatening to wash me away. Every person was only focused on getting wherever they wanted, to go wherever they wanted, without any regard of anyone around them.

The Complete disregard of others was astounding.

Suddenly I felt as if I was 10 again. The crowd was the same but different. I'm desperately trying to push through the crowd. I needed to find the restrooms and I needed to find them NOW. All the adults just milled around obvious to the little dark haired girl begging them to move. At last I saw the blue male and female restrooms. I was more than relieved but just as I was about to make a dash for it a large lady holding some fair cookies stepped in front of me, effectively cutting me off from my needed destination. At the same time I felt the warm liquid of humiliation slowly seep down my leg.

My Heart rate was rapidly increasing and my breathing came in short desperate puffs.
I hated crowds.
I hated being trapped in places with a crushing body of people. I panicked when they wouldn't move. When I had to yell for them to hear me, simply asking them to move out of he way. I tried my best to be polite only to suffer their judgmental looks indicating how rude they thought me to be.

Honestly, I'm not even sure what possessed me to venture out into this hell called a carnival. Maybe it was the promise of mini doughnuts, or salt water taffy. Or maybe the need to try to feel like a normal 15 year old girl. It wasn't often that I could feel normal and this outing just confirmed that feeling of difference even more.

I was startled when I suddenly felt a thin cold hand clamp down on my wrist.

The little old lady, that hand was attached to begin forcibly dragging me through the crowd with more strength than her appearance warranted.

It was almost amusing when she showed the same utter disregard for other people, that those same people had shown me. The affronted looks thrown our way mirrored my thoughts of them just moments ago. I have to admit, I was slightly amused.