Shuffled: When the Cards Talk You Must Listen

Chapter 7 Losgunna

Upright: Discovery of Self

Reverse: Pay attention to your dreams

It felt like mere minutes since I face-planted onto my bed when my alarm went off, blaring in my ears. It was so loud it stole whatever dream I had been having right out of my head.

Sigh I think that one was important because there was an odd sense of urgency and intensity to this dream. It is not the first time I've felt this way, and usually, the dreams did help to explain things about my life but this one felt different. This one felt.... ominous.

Sigh. Then again I could just be letting my imagination run away from me with all the talk of dreams from my mom last night. Stupid suggestible tired brain I grumbled to myself.

Shaking my head I moved towards the bathroom. I very much need to wake up! I felt like cobwebs were stretched across the furthest reaches of my brain and all my neurons were tangled up in their webs.

I couldn't decide what to wear today. Should I go soft and normal? Cute and fluffy like MeiLei? Maybe kinda 90's high waist and crop top. Ya, that sounds nice. I did a pair of high waist dark blue jeans with fancy buttons on the front and a soft fluffy super pale green crop top sweater. I didn't feel like doing anything fancy with my hair so I just did a simple fishtail braid down my back.

Today was not a day for taking on the world, nor for being invisible. Today was a day for just being. I checked myself in the mirror and added a bit of mascara and eyeliner in shimmery gold. I always like the metallic look, it made the silver flecks in my eyes pop out more. Ok done with the grooming I went to grab my backpack before popping my head into my mom's room to check on her and say good morning. She was sitting at her vanity just brushing her hair. It was a nostalgic sight for me because she took that one piece of furniture to every single place we have moved to.
"Morning Mom," I said keeping my voice soft and low.

She still looked shaken up. Her eyes looked hallow, almost devoid of all life. I've never been so afraid for her sanity in my life. I didn't want to upset her anymore. You know just in case she actually is crazy.

"Morning Baby Doll. Did you sleep well?" She smiled up at me. Something felt off about that smile. Like it was fake or forced so I put on a smile and pretended I hadn't noticed.

"Ya pretty good. By the time I picked a monologue for theatre class I was done for and passed the F out."

I re-positioned my back on my shoulder before timidly saying "ya so I had this totally weird dream but I can't remember a bit of it because my alarm woke me up before my brain could grasp it."

"Oh." Is all she said before looking back at her reflection in the mirror.

"So um how are you doing?"

"I'm OK. I guess." she let out a deep breath "I just have so many things to talk to Teenie about, it was a long night last night. She took the guest bedroom and I think we may have her move in too. Might make things easier" there was a pause and I could see her mind drift off into the ether and her voice was breathy. "maybe we can be safer."

"Um well OK. Mom. I gotta get going. School and all." Suddenly she jerked back to the here and now and smiled up at me

"That's good honey." She patted my hand that was resting on her shoulder. I could tell she still wasn't all here with me. So I slipped out of her room quietly and headed for the kitchen. I was not surprised to find Aunt Teenie making herself some coffee in there.

"Hi, Aunt Teenie. Late night?" I asked breezily as I nodded at her extra large coffee cup. She chuckled darkly.

"Oh, honey this is just feeding my addiction."