The Haunting of Bobby Bangash (Ongoing)

Death is Just the Beginning

Damn these bloody pesticide companies, thought Bobby angrily as he sipped water after throwing up for the second time, they can't even make unadulterated poison for lowly stinking insects!

The old pesticide had lost its potency and Bobby's intensely sincere attempt at being Romeo had failed miserably. Far from dying, he had only had a very uncomfortable stomachache and bouts of vomiting that effectively pumped the poison out of his system. When he got out of the room that day, no one even noticed anything was wrong with him. Not that anyone cares anymore, said Inner Voice slyly, except your psychotic sweetheart, and she hasn't noticed your green face either.

Bobby wasn't in the mood to joke though. Now that his heroic suicide attempt had failed, he decided to try finding an alternative solution to his love life again. He just needed to think hard. But this time he decided to stay home and do the thinking; in case Ann tried playing any more dirty psychological games on his parents, he could put a stop to them at once. With Anu no more in the house, his anger was bubbling to the surface again and a small part of his brain was telling him to brave up and face-off with Ann once and for all. Even Inner Voice seemed to agree with his brain this time. Better put an end to it now, it said. She's done what you feared she would, so what are you afraid of now?

Despite all the inner encouragement, Bobby thought it would be wise to think out his plan of action properly before executing it. His impatience and carelessness had cost him dearly in the past and present – it was now time to learn from those mistakes. For a whole day, he thought and planned and planned and thought. He then spent the next two days sorting out bank accounts, insurance and other important matters. Knowing Ann, he was sure she would try and leech off him in every way possible. And this time he wasn't going to let her win – at least financially.

And then he was ready.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning, as his parents sympathetically stuffed Arup and Ann with homemade food, Bobby made a grand entry into the room. His parents ignored him as usual, Arup stared at him with no expression as usual, and Ann gave him an overly-exaggerated-sexy-evil-smirk as usual. Usually these days, Bobby ignored her. But not today.

Today he walked purposefully to where Ann sat and stood right in front of her. Her eyes went wide with surprise but she didn't say anything. He looked her straight in the eye without blinking. Everything went silent. Bobby could feel his parents' eyes on him too. He sensed the familiar unnerving feeling of Arup watching too. But he stood his ground.

"I'd like to take a paternity test", he said in a loud clear voice. He heard his mother gasp. But it was Ann's expression that made him want to smile (he didn't though). For the first time since he had met her, Bobby saw fear in Ann's eyes. It gave him a happy thrill, seeing her sit there, that smug smirk wiped off her face. Whatever else she had expected, it wasn't this.

"I said I want a paternity test", Bobby repeated, "Today."

Before Ann could say a word, he turned to his stunned parents and continued. "I am only going to say this once. That kid", he pointed at Arup, "is not my DNA. Yes, I did have an affair with this woman. Yes, I did cheat on Anu. Yes, I am a pathetic son and husband. But", he said in what he hoped was a convincing voice, "that is not my son. This woman", he gave Ann a withering look, "is lying."

Ann had gotten over her shock and was now looking dangerously crazy again. She slowly stood up and opened her mouth to say something when the doorbell suddenly rang out shrilly. Mr. Bangash Sr. went and opened the door and they all heard footsteps running towards them. The next moment the dining room door burst open and Bobby found someone rushing into his arms, knocking the wind out of him.

"I am sorry! I am so so sorry!" cried Anu. "I love you! I love you! I cried and screamed till Papa was forced to tell me the truth about this woman and her son. He isn't your son! He isn't!" she cried. "I forgive you! He isn't yours! I love you! Its ok!" she said in a confused whirlpool of emotions. Tears were streaming down her face and her hair looked like it hadn't seen a comb for days. But to Bobby's absolutely surprised eyes, she had never looked so beautiful. He could hardly believe she was in his arms, hugging him tightly. He had never been so close to her physically.

Despite the circumstances, Bobby found himself smiling broadly. It was a beautiful feeling being hugged by the woman he loved. It felt like nothing could ever go wrong again. Ann, Arup, Mr. Agarwal – everything seemed like a bad dream that would evaporate into oblivion. Anu was back! Anu loved him! She forgave him! That was all he needed to be happy again.

His happy thoughts were rudely interrupted when Anu was yanked out of his embrace suddenly. Ann had stopped pretending completely – she looked like a raving mad murderer.

"How dare you touch him!" she shrieked at Anu, her face contorted in anger. "He's mine", she hissed at her and began pulling Bobby towards her. Anu - sweet, patient Anu - looked at her rival with loathing.

"Get away from my husband, you lying disgusting woman", she said firmly. She pushed Ann away roughly and stood by Bobby, holding onto his arm with a strong grip. Ann grabbed Anu's shirt and pulled her away from him again. "Why did you come back? Get out! Get away!" Anu let go of Bobby's arm and slapped Ann right across her face.

There was a moment of utter silence. And then all hell broke loose. The two women pounced on each other like ferocious cats fighting over a particularly plump mouse. Nobody dared to intervene, not even Bobby. His parents stood horrified; never in their lives had they seen two grown up women behave like this. Arup continued eating his breakfast as if nothing had happened. Inner Voice was cheering for Anu.

As the ladies in his life rolled over the floor, scratching and cursing, Bobby stood there feeling quite... proud. He hadn't lost his touch after all, he thought. He was beginning to enjoy the fight. He had butterflies in his stomach. He could almost feel the old playboy inside him coming alive – this was a dream come true for any man! Two women fighting over him! Ha! It felt strangely sexy. He wanted to burst out laughing. It was becoming harder and harder to control the urge to laugh. He could feel it in his stomach, his chest, almost at his throat.

The women were really going at it. They were now bleeding a little with all the scratching and punching. It went on for a long time before Bobby's parents finally had enough. They thundered forward and with loud commanding yells ordered the two ladies to shut up. Years of experience as parents helped – the two women stopped fighting immediately. They were then ordered to stop fighting and stand up. They did. They glared at each other – murderous, poisonous glares. Bobby's parents glared at them too. Even little Arup was watching them intently now.

No wonder then that none of them noticed when Bobby's eyes blinked in surprise for a moment before he crashed to the floor irreversibly, irrevocably and undoubtedly dead.