A Light In The Darkness

Chapter 20

I woke up to a room I had never been in before. The blue sky and mountains of Velaris. I breathed in the fresh air. Wincing a little at the pain in my back.
All the images came flooding back and I remembered.
Eris
Beron
Blood
Whips
I cringed at the memories.
I looked down at my hand and saw a scarred hand clasped around it and Azriels dark hair resting on my thighs.
My heart skipped a beat. I began to play with his hair. I tried to sit up straight but I cried at the pain now in both my stomach and back.
Azriel sat up so fast.
"Your up" He said telling me how Madja said I had lost a lot of blood but being half fae saved my life and began to bombard me with questions about how I felt.
I laughed even though it hurt. "Azriel I'm fine"
He settled down and breathed deeply.
"I was so worried- I thought you wouldn't make it" He said it like it pained him. I couldn't imagine what he was going through.
I looked at him and held my hand to his face. He leaned into my grip.
"Where are the others ?" I asked clearing my throat.
He took a moment before saying "Downstairs"
"I need to speak to Rhysand" I started to get up wincing at the pain.
"No love please don't do that" He tried to push me back to bed.
I looked around the room and noticed that this was Azriel's room. I could tell from the darkness but the subtle warmth of his smell that filled the room.
"This is your room ?" I asked already suspecting it was.
"Yes" He said.
"I like it" I said while trying to get up again.
I leaned against Azriel's arms.
"Shit" I whispered.
"You okay ?" He asked gently.
"Fine. How long have I been out ?"
Silence.
"Azriel" I said
"4 days" He said.
"Wow" 4 days is a long time.
We walked slowly. I looked at him. His eyes were dark and red.
"Stop"
He tensed"What, what happened are you okay ?"
"When was the last time you ate" I asked.
He let out a breath. "It doesn't matter"
"You are going to be the end of me shadow singer."
We made it to the door and I was overtaken by the light. I think I preferred the dark of Azriel's room.
We walked down the stairs.
I stepped into the hall. The hall where I fought with the same male holding me.
Neata and Feyre caught hold of me and Azriel gripped me even tighter. They ran towards me Feyre gripped me so tight.
I had never felt such a sisterly touch it was so heartwarming. Nesta wasn't much of a hugger but made an exception.
Rhysand walked up and I attempted to straighten myself trying to detach from Azriel but he didn't let go.
Cassian walked up right after him.
I looked down.
"I'm sorry I really tried" The shame I felt loomed over me. I couldn't even handle this. I was ashamed.
He laughed I looked up at him between my lashes.
I was confused. He was laughing.
"Why are you apologizing ? I suspected this would happen. Beron never keeps to his words."
"Wait what"
"I should be apologizing. I am the one who feels guilty for allowing...this to happen"
I thought back to when Azriel had backed down when about to make a deal with Beron.
"The war was never not going to happen." Rhysand said amused.
I looked to Azriel. He nodded.
I let out a huge sigh.
"Oh thank god- not because of the war- because actually just never mind. Now that that's out the way who missed me"
Feyre and Nesta began to laugh.
"I missed kicking your butt at training" Cassian said.
Nesta elbowed him with a smile on her face.
"Dinner ? Anyone I'm starving" Rhysand said.
Everyone agreed. We all took a seat on the outside balcony again.
Nuala came out of the door leading outside. I speed walked to her my back aching. I embraced her. I had missed her.
"I missed you too Sierra" she said laughing while patting my shoulder
I walked back to my seat. Trying my best to ignore the pain in my back.
Azriel was seated next to me. He took notice of my discomfort.
"Do you want to go back inside" He whispered
"No i'll be fine" I said gazing at him in the dark night.
"Let me know when you do"
No one has ever cared about me as much as he and these people did. I felt so at home. I felt...happy... truly happy.
The food started to be brought in.
Every plate was filled with different foods. It looked mouth watering.
I dug in so fast. Moaning at the food that had hit my
mouth. Azriel tensed.
I noticed mid-way, deep into conversation with Nesta that Azriel hadn't touched his food.
Nesta began to delve into conversation with Feyre and Cassian had stopped pestering Azriel about wingspans and started to talk to Rhysand.
I turned to Azriel and pointed to his empty plate.
"Why haven't you eaten."
"I'm fine"
"No shadow singer absolutely not"
I stood up wincing. Azriel jumped up stopping the whole table from what they were doing.
"I'm fine" I announced.
"Sit" I said.
He still stood.
I groaned.
I walked away coming back with a plate of food and everyone being back in their places talking once more.
I set the plate down in front of him. My neck grazing his nose. I paused but immediately caught myself and sat down slowly.
"Eat shadow singer"
He sighed and picked at the plate.
I took the fork from his hand and took a piece of meat and put in front of his mouth.
"Open"
He finally did and I put the piece of meat in his mouth.
"Was that so hard"
Cassian took notice and the teasing began. Rhysand eventually joined in.
"Baby Azriel needs someone to feed him" said Cassian
Feyre and Nesta began to open their mouths exposing all of Rhysand and Cassian's moments.
I was suffocating from laughter my back was aching but the looks on Rhysand and Cassian's faces had me dying.
They tried to shut the girls up but I could tell Azriel had enjoyed the show and I looked down to see his plate empty.
He had eaten all his food. I smiled to myself. Mission accomplished Sierra.

My back had been hurting more, than earlier but I didn't want to say anything. Everyone was enjoying their wine. The pain was getting harder and harder to ignore.
Cassian and Azriel had been talking. I didn't want to stop them in the middle of their conversation.
I stood up not expecting the rush of pain but held it in. I walked quickly but slowly to the door, opened it and walked in stumbling almost tripping.
I felt 2 strong hands lift me up. I leaned into the familiar touch.
"I told you to tell me when it was enough" said Azriel
"I know I know but you were busy" I said
My eyes were heavy.
He walked me up the stairs. We were in the middle of 2 hallways. One that led down to my old room and one that led down to his.
I realized he was giving me the decision.
Always so thoughtful shadow singer. I said down through the cord still shining.
I walked down the hallway that led to his room.
I could feel the heavy breathing of his chest as I made my decision.
We walked back into his room and I headed to the bathroom and changed into a spare shirt he lent me.
I'm not surprised by how big it was. It was black and
reached mid-thigh.
As I was putting the shirt on I caught sight of the scars on my back. They were hideous. Some short some long but all of them going down my back. I would never be able to wear any kind of back revealing dress/shirt again.
Thanks Eris.
I left the bathroom.
The look Azriel gave me made me feel like I was practically naked. He looked at me with hungry eyes and desire was written all over his face.
I was definitely blushing. Thank god it was dark in this room.
"I think I look better in your shirt than you do"
" I agree" He said
The silence was awkward.
I walked over to the bed. I chose the side nearest to the balcony. I took my time getting on the bed but eventually did it without the help of Azriel who was watching me like a hawk not to mention standing so close.
He changed and came out of the bathroom in nothing but pants his shirt was off. I turned away and turned red.
"Don't shy away now"
" I'm not shying away I think your missing half your wardrobe" I said still not looking at him.
"I don't think I am"
He got on the other side of the bed. The bed weighing down. I couldn't see him anymore.
There was a good comforting silence just being in the company of each other.
"What did you do to him" I asked
"Enough" He replied.
"Is he dead"
A pause.
"No but he would've been if Rhysand hadn't gotten there"
That was all I needed to know
There was more silence but it was awkward. I could tell we were both debating whether to turn to each other or not.
I took a leap of faith and even with the pounding in my back I turned to Azriel and moved closer to him.
He stilled not sure what to do. I rested my head on his chest I could hear his uneven breathing.
I snuggled closer to him.
"Thank you" I said against his bare chest.
He put his hands around me being careful of my back. And placed a kiss at the top of my head.

I still don't know what this was but he was here and so was I and that was all that mattered.