A Light In The Darkness

Chapter 9

The next couple of days were the same. Training with Nesta from the morning till the afternoon. And then with Cassian till the evening. I was now getting ready for training with Nesta and once I was I headed out.

I walked into the main hall. Nesta was sitting down and she stood up and walked towards me.

"Good morning," She said.

"Good morning" I replied.

"Hope you had a good sleep ?"

"Yes I did, why" I asked suspiciously. It was going to be the same training as everyday I thought...right.

"No reason" She said smiling.

No reason. What did she mean by that? Oh god this was going to be bad. And before I knew it she grabbed my hand and we winnowed.

I was used to the winnowing. It still made me nauseous but not enough to want to throw up my guts. And Nesta turned to face me a cruel smile on her face as she said "Alright let's begin."

Nesta destroyed me. I thought her training before was grueling. These put the past ones to shame. I was panting so hard. I couldn't even count the amount of times my hair fell out of it's ponytail and I had to tie it back up. And I could tell she enjoyed every second of my torture.

"You did good today." She said, smirking.

My hands on my knees I didn't even bother to look up. Instead I threw up my hand and gave her a thumbs up. She chuckled and walked away and sat down near the weapons area.

After catching my breath and cooling down I walked and sat down next to Nesta near the weapons rack. She looked at me and said " I know it's hard but I need to push you so you can transition. Without transitioning you can't learn to control your power." When she said the word power it broke down a wall I was trying to build to avoid talking about the subject.

"You're close though I know you are. I think when you came here your body couldn't wait to transition but something is stopping the transition and I think you know what it is."

She was right whether I wanted to accept or deny it she was right. I was avoiding all of it. I may have seemed like I was fine but I wasn't. I'm lost and I need direction. I'm scared of my power of what it'll do to me. I'm avoiding all of it trying to act like it isn't there. But everyday I feel the flame at the bottom of my stomach growing burning with such an intensity it's scary. I ignore hoping it'll go away but it doesn't. I act like I don't notice like I don't know my body is changing and I'm trying to act like everything's fine but it's not and Nesta knows.

"I know" I said after some time. "I know."

" You'll get through it. I know you will. Come on let's get back." She said with a reassuring smile.

How she knew I would. I had no idea but I stood up, grabbed her extended hand and we winnowed back to the main hall.

Everyone was there. Sitting around the table talking. They stopped when we winnowed in. Nesta had told me there was no training with Cassian today. I didn't mind, I'll just stay in my room and finish up my book. I had nothing better to do. I turned and thanked Nesta. I started heading for my room when a voice called my name. I recognized the female voice as Feyre's.

I turned around and said "Yes"

"Well we're going out to get our minds off of everything and we thought that...you might want to come with us."

Nesta turned her head and looked at me nodding in encouragement. The rest looked bored. Rhysand making conversation with Azriel.

Feyre is still waiting for my response. I didn't want to intrude.