Beginnings Are Ends

Chapter 6: Go out with me

My reply to Kennys question that day had been silence. A horrible heavy silence that felt like a weighted hunk of air that had just crashed into me. Kenny moved back to his spot, of course someone like him could tell what my answer was just from my reaction, he didn't say anything else.

Stan however, had gotten curious. My super best friend began to question what Kenny had said, and Kenny responded no to everything Stan asked. Keeping the words he had said a secret from the raven haired teen.

Even now, sitting in my bedroom, thinking about that moment between Kenny and I in the cafeteria, I felt sick. Kenny fucking knew. He knew for sure that I liked Cartman and the worst part was he had made me aware of that fact. Someone was aware of my crush, and I had been dumb enough to let Kenny of all people realize it.

"Not fair." I mumbled to myself as I sat down on my bed. Staring at the floor, just thinking about everything that had happened the past few days. I think I was right, it wasn't fair how everything was working.

If only I knew that I was in for something bigger than what had happened today. I was actually going to work up the nerve to do something that would let me down so I went into a state of despair. Even for me... Wasn't that too much?

I spent the entire morning the next day freaking out about Kenny, and Cartmans reluctance to show he knew any of us. Except Butters, which was odd.

But when it came to lunch time. When the bell rang and everyone went to their last class, I stopped Cartman. I grabbed his arm and he turned to stare at me. I felt an off amount of excitement. Now noticing that he was a decent amount of inches taller than me now.

"Hey." I said.

He frowned, but didn't move his arm. "What is it Jew?"

"I have a question."

"Spit it out."

I couldn't, that was the problem. I couldn't say it. It was getting embarrassing how his eyes stared into mine. I could feel him beginning to pull away. I quickly tighter my grip on his arm.

"Cartman. Will you go out with me?" I let my thoughts roll off my lips and kept my emeralds on him.

"What?"

"You heard me."

Cartman turned away. He pulled his arm out of my grip but I could see his face turn slightly pink. The tips of his ears following the actions of his cheeks. He didn't say anything.

"We don't have to go out now. I just was wondering if we could go out in the future..." I sighed. "I don't know."

A few seconds went by until the two of us were snapped back into reality and the first word I heard come from Cartmans mouth was no.