My Ice Heart is Yours [Levi Ackerman]

Chapter 11: Stay

"(Name). Levi. You've returned," Erwin greeted the two of you. 

His eyes lingered briefly on the new bruise on your face, but he said nothing, casting his eyes back down to the paperwork that scattered his desk.

You raised your hand to touch your face where Charlotte's mother had struck you. Your heart began to burn again, in pain and guilt for your failure to protect your comrades. In your periphery, you spotted Levi examining the interior Erwin's office, and remembered that this loss wasn't a burden you had to bear alone.

"You've experienced this before," Erwin said, cutting directly to the point. "Can you recover?"

"Yes." 

"That's good. We can't risk losing your skills here in the Survey Corps."

"Erwin, I have a request," you interjected.  

Raising a brow at the sound of determination in your voice, Erwin gestured with his hand. "Go ahead."

"I'm relinquishing the position of Squad Leader."

At this, both Erwin and Levi turned to you sharply.

"What?" Levi asked first, shock evident in his gray eyes. 

"Why is that?" Erwin asked.

"Again, I failed to protect my squad as their leader," you said. "And the pain and guilt I feel for their deaths will forever remain on my shoulders. You and I both know, Erwin. I was never the best qualified for this position."

"You've been a Squad Leader here for some time. Though you rose through the ranks rather quickly, it took time for you to be truly accepted by the others here. Do you really wish to leave this behind?"

"Yes."

Erwin closed his eyes briefly, seeming to contemplate for a moment before he opened his eyes again.

"(Name). You have always gone about with a clear goal in your eyes. From when you left underground to find your parents in Wall Sina, became a cadet to grow stronger, and enlisted prematurely as a member of the Survey Corps to avenge the deaths of the fallen. And you have always had the overlying goal of finding a specific reason for your place here in the world—To discover a way to let others back into your life." Erwin's eyes flashed. "If you are now willing to give up your position as Squad Leader, I assume that you have finally fulfilled this goal as well."

"That's correct," you confirmed.

"Then I relieve you of your duties and appoint Levi as the next Squad Leader."

"I never agreed to this," Levi hissed.

"Levi..." you began, wanting to explain that it wasn't what he thought it was. 

You weren't running away from the Survey Corps, nor were you running away from yourself. Rather, you had decided to run towards your destination, without the burden of the title of Squad Leader upon your shoulders. Selfishly, you had the feeling he was more qualified for the position than you ever would be.

Without letting you finish, Levi grabbed you by the arm, dragging you from Erwin's office. He swung you around the corner of the doorway and didn't wait for the door to slam shut as he demanded angrily, "What do you think you're doing? Didn't you say you would help take responsibility for their deaths? That you would avenge them?" 

"I can't keep watching the people around me die," you said, trying to calm him down. "So—"

"I'll continue to fight for humanity," Levi said. "But are you going to be a coward and leave them behind? I thought you said we'd do this together." 

"Levi." Finally you stopped him, placing a hand over his, desperately gripping your arm. "I'm not going anywhere," you reassured him. "You and I both know better than anyone that there's no use in running away. Life is only complete with sorrow and suffering and we're bound to face that many times. I'm not as strong as you. That's why I can't continue to carry that title, knowing I'm as weak as I am." 

Levi's shoulders sagged. He released your arm, bending to lower his head to your shoulder. 

"Stay. Don't leave." 

You tilted your head to rest against his. 

"We're in this together. Always, from now on." 

Seeming to have been satisfied hearing your answer, Levi pulled away and gave you a curt nod. He turned and walked away in the opposite direction. You watched his back stray further into the distance until he disappeared, your heart at ease knowing that unlike those in your past, you would most definitely see him again. 

This man needed you as much as you needed him. 

So you would stay. You would continue to fight. Both you and Levi had finally discovered someone strong enough to stand beside, who shared the knowledge of a past that only the two of you were aware of. 

You'd finally found him, a person who would remain insistently beside you. And you'd let the world go up in flames before you lost him again. 

~~~

"Give me your hand," Levi said.

You held out your hand and he took it, turning it over to reveal an extravagant golden ring shimmering on your finger.

"Watch your step," Levi cautioned, helping you down the stairs. 

You turned back to look at the beautiful white house you had stepped out of. It was large and clean, the house of your dreams.

"The titans have finally been vanquished, haven't they?" you asked.

Levi turned to smile at you, and the beauty of it caressed your heart. You'd never seen him smile like that before.

"Yes. They have."

"Then, can we finally live in peace?"

"We can and we will," Levi said, bringing your hand to his lips. "Since from now on, we'll always be together." 

~~~

You sat up on your mattress, gasping. Your fingers gripped your bedsheets, your breaths coming out in short gasps, as they always did after a nightmare. Then, you took a moment to process what had just occurred, and then covered your face with your hands. Tears began to make their way down your face.

For the first time, you had slept peacefully, without a nightmare about your past.

A vision of peace had always been a luxury in your hard, awful life. But you'd dreamt of it, a mirage of what might become your reality. It was finally the beginning of a new life, a new start for you at last. You could live again. You could finally see it in your clear sight again: a life free of pain and nightmares, just within your grasp.

You hugged your hands to your chest, weeping with relief and happiness. "Levi..."

He had finally returned to your life—The hero of your past and present, and the protector of your future. 

~~~

My Ice Heart is Yours

Revised, originally published on Deviantart

https://www.deviantart.com/wishbloom-hearts

~~~

To be continued...