By The Lake | B.E.

CHAPTER 4

🌜

BILLIE

"Bye mom." I tell my mom before shutting the front door. I could hear muffled shouts from inside probably telling me that she loves me and to be safe.

She doesn't love you

I sigh taking out my headphones and putting my music on shuffle. I make my way down the street till I came up to the entrance of the park, to go to the lake.

A few weeks ago I found a lake in it and have been visiting it constantly.

But this week I have been visiting it everyday. It's like a magnet and I'm stuck to it.

I haven't seen anyone else come there, but I constantly feel like somethings watching me. The first time I had been there, I heard a thud from the trees, but there was nothing there. So I assumed it was an animal.

I make my way to the path which lead to the lake. Through the opening of the 2 trees at the end of the path I could get a full view of the lake.

It was beautiful but dark and scary at the same time.

I found my boulder and plopped down just staring at the lake.

Looking down.

♥♥♥

I don't know where it went wrong.

I was so happy for 16 years and then one day boom it's all gone.

All the people who came and took a piece of me. Broke me. Used me. Then just left like it was nothing.

All the people I let in because I trusted them with my heart.

All the people who couldn't stop talking about me. My secrets. My feelings. Just me.

You deserved it

Maybe some people were meant to be punching bags. To be thrown around like a ball until it can't be used for its purpose.

Maybe that is my purpose.

I spent 3 long years in pain

Beautiful pain

3 years trying to fix my broken self. But broken glass can't be mended, just more broken.

Our hearts are like glass you know. They come in a box that tell you it's fragile and should be handled with care. But some boxes went through hell and back. Some boxes went through bumpy roads, being thrown in and out of trucks, dropped, kicked, smushed. And once it got delivered it's broken.

And no one will want it anymore.

No one will love it or try to put it back together.

Cause in the process It'll just hurt them.

But what if the glass can be mended. What if it can have a second chance. But why fix something broken when you could just replace it.

I try, I really do.

You obviously don't try hard enough