TOF (season 3)

Wedding or Not Here We Come

[Mom] Ok, boys, we are leaving for Japan in five hours. I wanna check you bags, and I wanna see your socks. As you go through TSA, your feet are representing this family and our country.

[Max] As you can see, I've arranged my outfits by day, weather, and itinerary. Do I have time to retake my passport photo? My bangs are a disaster.

[Mom] Well you were the one who told the barber, "Surprise me." Jackson, are you packed?

[Jackson] Yep.

[Mom] This is a garbage bag.

[Jackson] Yep.

[Mom] And these clothes are dirty.

[Jackson] Mom? Now I've got to repack.

[Max] I'll handle this. Come on, Jackson. Let's go do some laundry. We'll separate your whites from your colors and hand wash your delicates.

[Jackson] I have delicates?

[Mom] You all packed Dylan.

[Dylan] Yeah. Right here. Also, do your care if I sleep the whole flight there I stayed up all night working on some compositions.

[Mom] Go ahead. Now I just need to find my passport. Come help me.

[Dylan] Alright.

Me and mom go walking into the kitchen.

[Mom] I know it's around here somewhere.

[Kimmy] Let me help.

[Mom] I can't find it anywhere.

[Kimmy] Me either. What are we looking for?

[Mom] My passport.

[Aunt Steph] Does it look anything like the one in your pocket?

[Kimmy] What is wrong with me? Maybe I'm coming down with something. Yeah, you're coming down with the Losin' Steve blues.

Kimmy then goes on scatting. And Tommy starts clapping when she's done.

[Kimmy] Thank you, Tommy. Someone appreciates The Great American Songbook.

[Mom] No, Kimmy, your are way off. I am super happy for Steve and CJ.

[Aunt Steph] You just put your passport in the freezer.

[Mom] What...? What is wrong with me? Why am I so scattered?

[Aunt Steph] You got me. You've already got the perfect guy. Dr. Matt Harmon. He's sweet, he's smart... and we've all seen him in bike shorts.

[Kimmy] Boy, have we. But is he perfect for DJ? There's only one scientific way to find out. An online BuzzFeed quiz. Thanks to this quiz, I knew I should marry Fernando. And divorce him. It's foolproof.

[Aunt Steph] And you're just the fool to prove it.

[Kimmy] Yes, I am.

[Mom] I am not putting Matt through some stupid quiz. And now, I am over my little freak-out, and I am super excited to be going to Japan.

[Dylan] Those quizzes are so stupid.

[Aunt Steph] Your passport's ready.

We all leave after a few hours and once I'm on the plane I fall asleep next to Kimmy.

440 words.
Published: 02/20/2022