DANNY'S POV
Once my mom got here i went into the bathroom to take a nice long shower i took the time to wash my hair and relax for a bit before i got out and got dressed , i could hear Ava crying downstairs so i went down there and found my mom trying to soothe her with a pacifier. It's only been an hour since her last feeding so she couldn't be hungry already, i walked up to my mom and gave her a hug as best i could before i took Ava from her and sat down on the couch.
I shushed her and rocked back and forth till her cries quieted down and she eventually stopped, she looked up at me with those big innocent eyes and i smiled gently at her. I kissed her head and slipped her pacifier between her lips and laid her down in her swing turning it on watching as she looked up at the little animals hanging above her head. I put my head in my hands and cried...softly of course. Not even a minute later my mom wrapped her arms around me and i fell into her as i cried. She didn't ask any questions she just held me quietly while rubbing my back and placing gentle kisses on my head.
"She hates me mama" i whispered after a few seconds.
"No sweetheart she couldn't possibly hate you , why would you think that"
"She won't eat when i try to breastfeed her and she cries all the time when she's with me, but as soon as Ash takes her she stops and she'll drink a whole bottle of milk when Ash gives it to her, i don't know what I'm doing wrong mama, i feel like a failure, she's my baby girl and she hates me " i cried softly into my mother's ear.
"Honey i think your being too hard on yourself, babies have their moments and like Ashley told me your milk is coming in slowly maybe she just gets frustrated when she can't get all the milk she wants at once, you need to be more patient with her and yourself, she doesn't hate you she's just a baby and she can't tell you what she feels, she needs her mother to be happy and to feel okay she's so deeply connected to you so when you're mad or upset with yourself she mimics those feelings towards you "
"I never thought of it like that" i whispered while turning my head to look at Ava she was sleeping in her swing while clutching her onsie sleeve in her hand.
"Stay here and relax i will go make you something to eat and then we will call the doctor and ask if there is anything we can do to get your milk to come in a little faster okay"
"Thank you mom..for being here and for listening to me whine about how i feel"
"It's not whining hun it's perfectly normal to have doubts and concerns" she kissed my head and headed into the kitchen to make me some food , so i laid down on the couch and watched as Ava slept.
***
ASHLEY'S POV
I got home from my interview three hours after i left the morning, when i walked through the door i saw Danny asleep on the couch and her mom in the kitchen sitting at the counter, i walked up to her and hugged her.
"How is she?" I asked looking over at Danny.
"I think Danny is suffering from post partum depression, this morning she told me she felt like Ava hates her" she sighed and looked down at the coffee mug in her hands.
"Can i be honest with you?" I asked and she nodded.
"I have been thinking the same thing for about a week now but i didn't want to believe it "
"We need to get her some help Ashley" i nodded.
"I know but i want to take her to the doctor so she can get something to help her with her milk production, most of her frustration comes from jot being able to feed Ava so maybe if we can solve that problem it would help her in some way"
"Good idea, she has an appointment for this afternoon at 4 with doctor Julia, i took the liberty of calling her this morning i hope i didn't over step or anything " she said slowly.
"No of course not thank you... everything. "
"You're welcome Ashley"
"Did she eat today?"
"Yes at first she didn't want to but i told her she would feel better of she did and she ended up eating two helpings of the spaghetti i made"
"Good that's good, thank you again for everything mom" i hugged her again and after that we said goodbye and she asked me to give Danny a kiss for her.
I checked the time on my watch we still had three hours before her appointment with the doctor so i just sat with her while she slept.
About an hour later she woke up and looked over at me and smiled.
"Hi baby" she said softly while lazily reaching out for me.
I smiled and laid down next to her and held her, she flung her leg over mine and cuddled closer to me.
"How are you feeling baby?" I asked and kissed her head.
"I'm okay...and I'm sorry for being such a mess these last few days"
"It's alright love, we're going to the doctor this afternoon so everything is going to be okay" i whispered to her and she nodded.
"I love you" she said into my neck and i smiled.
"I love you more" i kissed her head and we just laid there for a few minutes before i got up to go pick up Elijah from school.
I sighed as i sat in my car...i really do hope that everything is going to be okay, i need my family to be okay again.
