The things that matter

Chapter 8

Without getting apart for an instant, as if making up for the lost time, we returned to the camp where Sven waited sound asleep by the fire.

"Are you sure he's my guardian? I see him quite oblivious to everything I've been through in this time."

"This is his well-deserved rest."

I was tempted to go over to pet Sven and thank him for everything he had done for me in all this time, but he would probably prefer that I let him sleep peacefully and leave the thanks for the next day. So, quietly, I just took out dry clothes and some food for Anna and myself.

We both changed our clothes quickly and sat beside the fire ready to regain some of the energy that had cost us that tortuous day.

"Kristoff..."

Anna whispered, probably out of respect for Sven's sleep, so I answered with a smile and a whisper.

"Tell me."

"While I was walking, I've been thinking about something."

"I'm listening."

"What if, instead of going back to Arendelle, we go to see the trolls?"

"To the trolls? Because of Sven's thing?"

"No, well, yes, there is that too, but it's... something else."

"What is it about, then?"

"I was thinking that maybe Grand Pabbie could make me not able to get pregnant."

Did not see that coming. I was silent processing what she had just released. Without a doubt, that would make it easier some kind of things, but... it would be a definitive renunciation of having children of her own. I knew we shouldn't have them, but at the same time, I wanted them, just like she did. And she was willing to give it up for good. She believed in us so much that she wasn't even considering the possibility of leaving that option in case one day her life changed and she would have the opportunity.

I felt sad. The idea of killing that of her hurt me, and, at the same time, accepting was proof of love and faith in us. What should we do? Of course, I was never going to move me away from her side, but to definitely nullify her chances... was that the right thing to do?

"What do you wanna do?" I asked hoping that her words would help us choose a path.

"I... I want to do it."

"Really?"

"Yeah. It is painful enough to give up having our own children," I squeezed her hand in a mixture of support and pain. "I don't want to give up anything else."

"What else?"

"Need I to explain to you the things you can't do if you don't want to conceive?"

"Oh. I see..."

The colors burning all over my face made me realize that I had finally fully warmed up.

"And would it make it up to you?"

It was she who blushed then, but that didn't stop her from letting a malicious smile appear.

"Make sure it compensates me."

"At your disposal, my queen."

I picked her up on the site and entered the tent holding her in my arms without explaining anything at all; I laid her down carefully on the blankets that covered the ground and, there, as the fire crackled and in the privacy of the woods, I made sure that my tongue and my lips gave her some hint of how much I was going to endeavor to make what cannot be compensated up for the rest of my life.