Hard to Love

8. Seth

From the parking lot of the old gas station, you could throw a stone and hit a car on the highway. It's that damn close. It's loud too as the three of us huddle for this meet.

Behind me is the old worn-out sign, bleached by the sun but you can still read Gas and Convenience Store. Under it is my crew. Roman, Connor and Liam are talking about something. I don't know what. I can't hear shit with the highway here.

Derrick looks with me, and then tells me, "Should be simple." Maybe he thinks he needs to ease my concerns, so I nod. "Yeah," I respond.

I can't shake this feeling in my gut though. Ever since Laura came home from the doctor's two nights ago, something feels off. Not just with her, but with work too.

It's like someone's watching me. A gust of wind passes, and I the feeling comes over me again. I don't like it.

Leroy holds out his hand for a shake before saying a word. His crew's behind him like mine is, at a distance and leaning against a black sedan. His grip is strong and he looks me in the eyes as he says, "I'm looking forward to doing more business with you fellas."

I can see in my periphery that Derrick's lips kick up in an asymmetrical grin at "fellas."

Leroy's from down south and he needs shipments coming in. We can provide that. We have in the past, but these should be steady, or so he claims. Shipments come into the dock, we collect, we deliver. Like Derrick said, should be simple.

"You know our take," I tell him and then my gaze is pulled past Leroy when one of his crew reaches behind him. My hand burns with the need to go for my gun when I see the quick motion, but the guy is just reaching for a smoke. With the cigarette in his mouth, he takes out a lighter from his back pocket and passes it to the guy next to him. "Fifteen percent," I tell Leroy, keeping my expression easy, even though adrenaline is scorching through me.

I know you need trust in these relationships. At least trust that they need the partnership and can't afford to fuck you over. I have that with Leroy. I have for a year now although this proposition is new. I just can't shake this feeling though.

Not everyone is an enemy. But damn does it feel like they are sometimes.

Leroy shifts his focus to Derrick, who's silent. The gravel under his feet crunches noisily while we wait. "What if I increase the load, can your boys handle that?" he asks me, and I nod.

"We got it covered."

Another second passes. "If I increase the product per shipment, seems like it should be dropped to ten percent, doesn't it?"

"How's that?" Derrick pipes up. I roll out my right shoulder, watching Leroy's men talking. A freight truck rushes by on the highway above them and two of them turn to look. It's not a high-tension situation, but negotiations at the last minute aren't welcome.

"More product, more money, but you're still only doing one run," he explains to Derrick.

"We agreed on fifteen," I tell him.

Leroy puts both of his hands up, a move that makes the men behind him still, their eyes focused solely on us now. Thump, thump my heart pounds and the back of my neck pricks. His hands are lowered as quickly as they went up, and his men settle. They're watching closely now though.

"I got a call yesterday. I may have more product than I thought. Terms for me have changed," Leroy says then sniffs and thumbs the tip of his nose. "Like I said, it's more product, more money, still one shipment. Ten percent of this load is more than fifteen percent of the previous."