Hard to Love

20. Laura

Chapter 2 of Desperate to Touch

I'm trying to remember everything Seth said two weeks ago, but all I can hear is Babygirl. All I can feel is the prick at the back of my eyes. He asked me how I thought it would end... that's right. That aching feeling in my chest returns and I swallow, dry and harsh as I sit in my car. My seatbelt's off and the constant pinging from the dash is driving me crazy until I pull the keys out of the ignition.

I begged for his forgiveness while all he did was stare at me through the rearview mirror. I tried to explain, but his gaze remained brutal and unforgiving. I put my hand on his shoulder once, and that was the only time he really looked at me. First my hand, and then into my eyes.

He wrote down an address, this address. In the note, he told me to come in two weeks—which has felt like forever. And he gave me a time... five minutes from now.

Don't make me come for you.

I read the line noting how quickly my heart beats, then the pause and the sudden shortness of breath. A wave of overwhelming emotions crashed down around me. The thought of him coming for me will always make me feel conflicted. I want to run from him, but I also want him to capture me, to force me to stay. Because I'm selfish, just like my heart is when it ticks and skips like it's running and it's out of breath.

I stopped taking my medication for arrhythmia when I got settled here. My hand instinctively hovers over my chest as the thump, thump, thump goes off beat. With my eyes closed, I breathe in deep and tell it to calm down.

I haven't needed a pill in years. Seth King fucks up my heart. No one can tell me otherwise. It's all his fault.

Ping.

Jolting from the buzz on my lap, as I sit in the car outside of the address Seth gave me, I silently scold myself. Calm the fuck down.

The heat from the vents hits my face and I'm quick to flick the button off. It's cold for an autumn night, colder than it's been since March if I remember right, and the wind is unforgiving too.

With the blush of the sunset on the horizon, I'm close to a moment I knew would come one day. For better or for worse. I'm safe in my car... safe for now.

It took me twenty-five minutes to drive here. All in silence. That's all it took. It felt like forever, but forever is over far too quickly now that I'm sitting here staring at the massive house. It's all old light gray stone with dark blue roofing... the slabs all the way up there look like stone too. It's hard to tell this late at night though. There are two stories with a wraparound porch. There isn't a piece of furniture at all outside though. The old Victorian has been cared for. It's obviously been meticulously maintained, which must take effort given that it's out here, surrounded by miles and miles of woods.

Taking my gaze away from the gorgeous house, I read the text and then I have to read it again.

You want to go out soon?

My brow furrows, a deep line settling in my forehead.

My first thought is: what is Cami doing on the East Coast? After all, who else would be texting me?

A vise tightens around my dry throat. Cami's dead. Fuck, my head is so messed up.

It's been like this since I saw Seth days ago. Since he called me Babygirl. The past has a way of creeping in. All the things once forgotten come back. With the pain lingering in my chest, oh how I wish Cami were here. I wish it were her who sent that text.