Hard to Love

3. Laura

"Three hundred is left over," Cami tells me and points to the spreadsheet on her computer. Her chipped pink nails are a sign of the stress I know she's feeling right now. She put it all together, accounting for every cent of the money coming and going.

With my shoulders relaxed, I play off every bit of anxiousness that's been pulling me down, hoping to give her a little lift up. She doesn't need to carry my burdens. Damn do I love her for doing it though.

"So that's three hundred for the next two weeks to live off of after all the bills. That seems good, right?"

"After gas and food... that's tight, but it's workable," she confirms.

"And you're sure they're okay with just fifty a month?" I ask her again and then I want to kick my ass for second-guessing her and bringing in "bad mojo," as she'd call it.

"The hospitals?" she questions. Nodding, she makes her voice seem more chipper than it has been. "Yeah, they'll settle for what you can afford. Fifty a month for these bills is... appropriate. Insurance doesn't cover it. Eight bills total, so four hundred a month to cover someone else's medical bills. That's what you can afford... Barely."

"At least the new bar is coming." I'm trying to be optimistic as I sit back at the kitchen table. I stare through the threshold to the large bay window at the front of the living room. It needs new trim and the whole house could use a fresh coat of paint. Everywhere I look I see dollar signs and evidence that times are changing.

"Right. When the new bar comes, you'll make more money bartending. For now, you have the Clubhouse... and... and Seth... if you ask him."

I move my gaze back to Cami. "I don't want to ask him."

"He's—"

"Not yet," I say to cut her off. "I just... just give me time to figure everything out," I plead with her to understand. I don't want to be indebted to Seth more than I already am. Even if I love him, I still need a sense of independence. Especially now.

I have nothing but this little piece of independence. As small and shitty as it is, it's mine still. If it's gone, all I am is Seth's girl. If I don't pass this test, I'll never be anything but his girl. His burden too.

I don't ever want to be anyone's burden. Not like my father was. I will always love him and I hate to think ill of the dead, but it is what it is. He was a burden to my grandma. Hell, he was a burden to me. I won't be that. I won't allow it.

"I get it," Cami says. Breathing in, she taps her empty can on the table at the same time as I see a bright red shirt on my porch.

"What the fuck?" I can feel confusion line my face and then recognition when what's happening dawns. My heart races. "Who the hell is that?" I whisper the question and Cami turns to look out of the window too.

I see the guy's profile; I don't recognize him or his shaggy hair. And then I see my bike. In his hands.

"He's stealing my bike!" I jump out of my chair so fast it falls onto the floor, clattering as I rush past Cami and make my way to the door.

Bat, bat, bat. It's a mental reminder I scream in my head with every step. It isn't the first time in this neighborhood I've needed an edge on my side.

I keep a baseball bat between two umbrellas in the entry stand. Hating the feel of it in my hands, but damn grateful to have it, I snatch it and then unlock the door. Feeling a wave of disgust and anger rush through me, I watch the guy walk out into the middle of the street, both of his hands on MY bike and surrounded by a man on each side of him.