collateral damage 🔞 - COMPLETE

•eighty-three•

~~~~~Haerin

I knew the test was going to say positive. It's been on my mind for the last week, and I was so excited. Then when Mrs. Jeon reminded me of all the things I've done, and how it could damage Jeongguk... my heart broke. He deserves to have the best, and it's not me. When Unnie met me at Rush, I told her I was going to leave Korea. I think it's best to go where noone will know me. I know it will hurt the kids, but someday they'll get to see Jeongguk again. I won't keep them away forever...

"What are you doing out here Haerin-ah?"

Jimin plops down onto the chair next to me on the balcony. I have just been staring out at the view for the last hour, and trying to memorize all the things about Seoul that I'll miss.

"Are you mad at me? Is that why you're not talking?"

"Sorry... I was just lost in my thoughts."

"Anything I can help with?"

"I think I need to leave Jimin... I don't want you to think it's something you did, so please... Don't blame yourself."

"What? Cut the crap Hae. I get that Mrs. Jeon said some hurtful things, but Jeongguk doesn't think like her! How could you think of leaving him? He proposed, and you accepted... If you leave him now, I don't think he'll survive it!"

"But"

"Shut it! You know I love you Haerin... But I won't forgive you if you disappear from our lives. You can't! Jeongguk pined for you for 6 years! 6 FUCKING YEARS HAE!! He never got serious with any other girl because his heart is only yours... And you would run away from that? If you do that, I hope you never show yourself to me again!"

He stood from the chair in a huff and stormed from the balcony. Tears streamed from my eyes when I realize how much I'm hurting everyone... I don't know what to do anymore...

"Baby?"

I swivel my head to Jeongguk's soft voice. When he sees my tears he rushes to sit on the end of the chaise and cup my cheeks. I can't even meet his eyes with the guilt I feel.

"What happened? I saw Jimin leaving and he looked mad... Did you 2 fight?"

I just nod, and gulp the knot in my throat.

"Hey... Don't stress..."

"i keep fucking it up... i don't even know what to do anymore..."

Strong arms pull me, and I land against his chest. I inhale his beautiful, alluring fragrance, and let the tears flow. I have never felt as safe as I do in his arms... But I'm bad for him...

"Hey... Haerin-ah... Stop... Tell me what happened."

"jeongguk... i'm so sorry... i think it's best if we break up... you shouldn't be with me... find a girl that's better..."

My sobs start, and I can't hold them back. Jeongguk doesn't speak, but just holds me tighter. Rocking me back and forth, he just hums while trying to calm me. I don't know how long we stay like this, but I eventually settle a little. When my loud cries have stopped, he pulls me away a little and gets into eye contact.

"Listen to me Choi Haerin... I do not accept your decision. Wherever you go, I'll follow... We are going to get married... We are going to raise our children together... My life and career don't matter if you aren't in it. Do you understand?"

"yes"

"Good girl..."

"jeongguk... i have to tell you something..."

"Hmmm?"

"i'm pregnant."

Watching his eyes widen, I can't help but smile a little. It's like fireworks are sparking in his eyes the way they are shining. Before I can say anything else, his lips crash against mine. His hold is firm but gentle, and I lose myself completely. Why I ever thought I could live without him, I don't know.