collateral damage 🔞 - COMPLETE

•sixty-seven•

~~~~~Haerin

Dr. Kang has me writing in a journal every day. It's becoming a little annoying, kind of like homework used to be. I never really know what to write about. I try to put in something about my kids, and Jeongguk every entry though. Tomorrow I'm supposed to sit in a courtroom, and let people decide if I should be punished for the death of a man that tortured me for years. I find that if I think too much about it, I begin to panic, and then the rest of the day disappears.

When Dr. Kang said she thinks I may have D.I.D., I didn't understand. After listening to her explain I begin to wonder... Do I have a whole other person living inside my head? Is that why the days vanish, and my head explodes if I try to remember? She claims that she can prove that what she says is true, but I'm not ready... It just sounds so ridiculous...

I'm struggling to write out something when I feel strong arms surround my torso. Leaning into the warmth, I sigh as he rests his chin on my shoulder.

"Are you writing about me Baby?"

I can't help but laugh at his question, but nod anyway. I always end up writing about him.

"Yes... You're the most interesting part of my day."

~~~~~Jeongguk

Watching Haerin cook dinner, I think about all the things that can go wrong tomorrow. We did a run through of the questions she can expect, and my heart broke at her obvious confusion. She hasn't watched the video that Chul gave to Dr. Kang. We're supposed to see it tonight, and although it's been described to me, I can't picture my beautiful girlfriend doing what they said. I know they are going to show it in court, so she needs to know what it contains, but I think it's going to be too much.

"What are you thinking about Jeongguk?"

The girl I've been watching sends me a beautiful smile, and comes to sit in front of me. Not wanting to waste moments, I pull her onto my lap and land my lips on hers.

"I was just watching you... You're beautiful."

Giggles escape her mouth as I squeeze her to me and nuzzle my face into her neck.

"Aren't you hungry? I made dinner."

"I would rather eat you..."

Another round of giggles, and she finally frees herself from my arms. The cold I feel makes my heart ache, as she moves away to gather our dinner. The kids are with the rest of the members to give us the privacy we'll need when Dr. Kang comes. Naeun Noona and Chul wanted to be here, but Haerin refused. She is anxious, and has been keeping to herself, not wanting to be around anyone but me and our kids. I enjoy every second we spend, but find it terrifying she could be taken away.

We are finished eating, and sitting in the living room, cuddling together to be as close as possible. Neither one of us knows what will happen after tomorrow, and it's painful thinking that this could be our last night together. We don't talk about it, and just clutch on to one another, and share sweet kisses. There is soft music playing from a Bluetooth speaker attached to my phone, and some low lighting with candles. I want Haerin to be as relaxed as she can be before it gets destroyed. I know that after Dr. Kang shows us the video, nothing will be the same.

~~

My love begins trembling as the video starts. I tighten my hold to remind her that I'm here, and watch her more than what's showing through the television. I feel her hands grip onto mine tight, and I can tell she's stopped breathing. Her eyes are wide, and she's digging her nails into my hands, but I try not to react. Having her in a protective hold between my legs, I glance at the video that's playing. My girl is standing against a bar, leaning over to speak to Chul. She's wearing a sexy number that highlights her curves, and something he says makes her laugh.