collateral damage 🔞 - COMPLETE

•eighteen• before (M)

⚠️⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING! Scenes of violence and forced sex. If you are sensitive to this subject matter, please skip this chapter. ⚠️⚠️

~~~~~Haerin

Yuna carries Mi-Hi in her arms, while I bring Ye-Jun. When we get to my room, we set them in the crib. I watch as they immediately move to be closer to one another. I'm thankful that regardless of what happens to me, they'll always have each other.

"Has Oppa told you if you're finished with training?"

I hear Yuna's question, and my head starts to throb thinking about the last few months. Everything in me that was pure, has been destroyed. I've become the whore that my own mother and Mrs. Jeon had called me as. I look down again at the angels sleeping peacefully, and wish I could change everything.

"Haerin? You good?"

"Hmmm... I guess... Just thinking how I wish I could stop all this..."

"Be careful Haerin... If Beom-Seok heard you say that, he wouldn't go easy on you."

"I know... But don't you want to run away sometimes?"

"I stopped thinking like that a while ago. I have nowhere to go anyway. My only friends are at the club..."

"I used to have friends... But I guess I'm in the same boat as you now."

"You have your kids too. Don't forget that."

"But what kind of life is this for them? In a few years, will they know what I do? Will they be proud that I'm their mother? No..."

Our conversation ends, and I begin getting ready to go to work. My closet is filled with slutty, tight, club dresses now. My vanity is made up of dark make up, and I've colored my hair the darkest brown I could find. In a box under my bed is all the money I've made in the past few months, minus what I had to spend for my kids. It's quite a large sum, and when I have enough, I'll run away. I don't share this plan with anyone because I know Beom-Seok would kick my ass if he found out.

The loving Oppa I thought I knew, is long gone. He is just my dominant, and my boss. I feel nothing but fear when I think about him. He knows all my weaknesses, and the worst thing is he could get my kids taken from me if I break his rules. Most nights that I 'work' I try to stay away from Beom-Seok. The customers are definitely much easier to deal with than he is.

I've only been hurt once by a customer who had a kink for violence. He punched me a number of times, and choked me until I passed out. We were in one of the private rooms, so noone knew what was happening until it was too late. I was a mess for days after that, and couldn't work. Beom-Seok came to my apartment and took care of me as if he was my boyfriend on the first day. After that when he came, he berated me for letting that man beat be up. The sex was rough and I screamed as he broke me over and over to "toughen me up".

Walking into club RED tonight, I see a new face behind the bar. I walk over and when he looks up, my breath hitches. He's beautiful. He grins at me, and I can't help but smile back.

"What can I get you pretty lady?"

"The house booze, and a shot of tequila... and your name..."

"Chul. How about you? What do they call you here?"

His question makes me understand he knows exactly that I'm not going to give him my real name. I've been 'Raven' after the first night I was here. The only one who calls me Haerin is Beom-Seok... Here at the club, if he interacts with me, he mostly calls me slut, bitch, or whore.