The day we met again

3- The makeover

I TRY TO breathe evenly. Deep breath in and out. I close my eyes to fade the memories away but tears start to wet my face. The images from that incident come parading before my eyes. Those children and women laying on the sandy ground, covered in blood. Thinking that they were the enemy, I started shooting but I only ended up killing innocent citizens.

The TU rebels had probably gone inside the houses and kicked the people out. I try to reason with myself, although it does not lessen the guilt. That incident is something I will remember my whole life, the evil part of me that killed. 

Killing. 

I did it so easily. Trying to calm down, I break down in heavy sobs. I gasp for air as I get out of the car as fast as I can. I cry and fall on the ground on my knees. My hands reach out to touch the asphalt ground relieved to not to find the Arabian sand.

"Isha, Isha, what's wrong?" Annie's worried voice comes closer.

"Hey, don't cry." I feel Lucas kneel down beside Annie.

"Just memories..." I say finally stopping to cry. I couldn't possibly tell them what happened or what I had done.

"It's okay, no one is going to hurt you." He says as he wipes away my tears. Annie holds me in her arms like a mother and we stay like that for a while. She tells Lucas to drive. She guides me towards where Danny is seated. We sit together and stay silent as Lucas starts the car. None of my friends ask me about what happened. I fear it is most probably that they are scared of what they might hear. The army is not really what we might expect. I was dumbfounded when I started my service.  

When we reach the buffet, we spend a while searching for a parking spot. "This is shit man!!" Lucas yells as we laugh.

"You talking about my car?" I ask sarcastically.

"No parking park-" his eyes widen as he rushes the car towards the sidewalk. We bump ourselves to the right. "Done!" He grins turning his head towards us. I turn back and arc my eyebrows at Pooja.

"You were telling me to drive safely?"   We all laugh as we get out of the car. Krish is heavily asleep in his basket. As our loud group makes towards the restaurant door, Annie spots Shae and Charlotte and runs at their direction. They enlace each other while screaming happily. I won't be doing that now. I can't. I can't show love or express my feelings as easily as before. It became something extremely hard for me. Mostly because of all I've been through and all I've done. They advance towards us and I force myself to make a smile. The two girls kiss Lucas and make towards Krish and his family. Charlotte teases Kartik about his fertility as Shae asks about how Pooja went these days. I am so happy to see them. I have been away for near five years after that heartbreak.

"ISHA!!!!!!" Shae and Charlotte exclamate as they tightly enlace me. I finally smile and hug them back.

"Hey guys. I'm happy to see you." I say smiling.

"HEY! EVERYONE!!" We hear a voice call out from behind our crazy group. My vision clears upon Gabriel who is running towards us. That idiot didn't change at all. Everyone welcome him happily. Gabriel shakes hands with Kartik and Lucas. He pecks Shae, Annie, Danny and me.

"Wecome back Isha." He says gently. I nod. He approaches Charlotte and gives her a tight hug. Dumbfounded, Charlotte frowns. We laugh at the scene as Gabriel proudly takes Charlotte by the waist and drags her away and towards the restaurant. While we go inside, I sense Shae and Annie eyeing each other and checking me out.

"I so knew this would happen." Shae says looking at me from head to toe.

"Me too, so I let her be and instead, I brought it with me." Annie follows her. What are they talking about? I look at them confused.