Jeneisha's Book Reviews (CLOSED)

13. Billionaire's Princess

Author: theonewholovesit

Title: Billionaire's Princess

Chapters: 5

Status: Ongoing

Title 4/5

I love the title and I think it's suitable for the book, but it's a little bit too common.

Cover 3/5

I love the picture but the font size is too big. Some part of it isn't really showing.

Description 5/10

The first part of the description was reasonable, even though it needed editing. However, when I continued reading the scenes that followed, I noticed that it revealed way too much. Maybe just stick with just the first paragraph?

Character Development 3/10

There was none of that. I barely knew anything about the characters. It's like you're just writing on spot. It was kinda clear that the novel wasn't planned.

Spelling and grammar 5/10

There weren't a lot of spelling issues. However, your word choices were poor and there were missing as well as incorrect punctuations.

Don't just tell the characters what's happening. Be more descriptive and description the scenes, the characters and their surroundings.

Plot 5/10

The plot doesn't really seem straight, and I could tell you weren't really sure where it's going either.

Overall Review

Writing can be difficult, I know that from experience. However, the key to making it (or anything in life for that matter) easier, is planning. Before you go any further in the writing process, I'd advise you to plan it out because if you don't do it now, you're gonna have to do it in the second draft and that's more difficult.

Reviewer: Hiz_Secret_Addiction

*****

Title 3/5

I do like the title, but at the same time I think it's a bit too cliche. Most books on Wattpad tend to have 'Billionaire' or 'Millionaire' in the title which immediately tells the reader what to expect. That's okay, except that it falls right into majority in terms of title. Your book should have a unique title; one that stands out above the rest. 

Cover 4/5

The cover would've been okay if you had maybe zoomed out a bit or simply change the font size to something a little smaller. Also, I suggest adding author's name to the cover. 

Description 6/10

I'd suggest that you remove the scene from the description. The first paragraph was interesting and would've been intriguing enough to pull readers, but the scene you added reveals a lot about the plot and is quite unnecessary. 

Character Development 3/10

There was hardly any character development. All I know about these characters are their names. It is important for your readers to form a type of bond with your character in order for them to stay interested in your book or to even feel the emotions that they feel.

You ever read a book or watched a movie and you're literally crying when a sad part comes up or laughing about something funny or getting mad or sad when there's something wrong with the characters or if they made a decision you don't like? Well that's because you got an emotional connection to the character and that is formed through character development. 

The key is to be descriptive. Describe the setting. Describe the character. Describe the character's feelings. Don't tell us, show us.

Spelling and Grammar 6/10

I spotted some grammatical and spelling errors throughout the novel. You can read through and edit or copy and paste into a grammar app. (I sometimes use a grammarly keyboard)

Plot 4/10

I understood the plot more from the description than from the entire 4 chapters that you have published. From the description I got that Octavia/Octania and Leo are past lovers who lost contact with each other, but they cross paths again.

This is a very common plot line, trust me. I can probably tell you 10 books that has the exact same plot line. I don't want to tell you to change it entirely, but be creative with it. Add your own little touch so that readers can see just how much your story differs from majority.

Overall Review 

Chapter 1 is a bit confusing as I cannot tell which is the actual flashback. Is it the paragraphs that are written in italics or the ones that are written normally? 

You tend to switch to italics regularly and it becomes annoying sometimes. Please stick to one font; preferably use italics for flashbacks or emphasis only.

Also, in chapter 3 you wrote "Next Day" to indicate to the readers that the day has passed. However, I would advise you to SHOW us that it is the next day instead of just plainly telling us. This goes to say that you need to be more descriptive, allow your readers to visualize exactly what you what us to. That is the power of good description. 

Reviewer

lil_jessi