The protector

Call Man-bok - Daepyonim (M)

Pyongyang, some time later

The white porcelain glowed, reflecting the lights of the street. Resigned, Jeong Hyeok let himself fall down on his knees, ready for the evening treat. It was some month - maybe more, life had never been so merciful with him to put an end to his sore so fast - that In-ah wasn't at his side anymore, and he was wholly back to his old self. Unbuttoning the now too loose shirt, he could have numbered the ribs making their appearance under the fading muscles again. If he would have been interested, but it was not so.

The hands didn't stop shaking when he secured them at the sides of that blank, mute witness. It didn't judge him for it, and it was as if it was the only one who understood him, the last friend left. Jeong Hyeok wasn't playing the piano anymore. To what end? And besides, he couldn't, the tremor betraying him. Every morning, waking up after the night fainting was a reminder that no one would have come to take him anymore. Every night, before fainting, he hoped for it to be the last, to not come back on the morning after. The bathroom was empty, the house was, the city was, and he had no strength to fill them alone.

If the image was so accurate, it was because he had already pictured it. Many times, on the late nights, Jeong Hyeok had wondered what would have happened if he wouldn't have met the elf, the reflection recently supplemented with the portrait of what he would have done if he would have lost her.

"IN-AH! IN-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH."

Lifeless, the elf was slumped on the balcony, deaf to his cry, insensitive to his slaps.

It was like being split in two. His brain knew he had to stand up, call the men, ask for help, run to the hospital. But his body was like paralyzed. The weight of the elf, inert, collapsed on him as he had tried to move her, had stirred an anguish which was having him choking and crying at the same time. Her colourless face, the alarmingly feeble heartbeat under the two fingers he had put on her jaw, were scaring the hell out of him.

No In-ah, anyone but you.

The retching brutally hit the pit of his stomach, "AH!" It felt like having a crab's claw inside. Jeong Hyeok knew that as the instinctive reflex of the fear. It had happened, it could happen again. The people he loved always left him. A part of him was already giving for granted that In-ah was no exception. But there was another part that refused it with all its might.

That was not how it was supposed to go. Why pushing me. Why putting yourself on the door to shield me from the gas. In-ah no, we should have done it together, In-ah how am I supposed to carry on without you. In-ah no, you promised.

Unconsciously shaking his head no, the pianist was appealing to the logic and the uprightness to have her back. His woman who never lied had to maintain her promise, and she had promised to be the exception.

You said this would have had a happy ending.

Hopeless, Jeong Hyeok instinctively did what he was used to do anytime she fell asleep on the couch, softly cradling her dull body until she opened one single eye and, slowly, accepted she had to stand up. Wake up elf. The lack of reaction had his agony bursting out in another wounded scream.

"IN-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

It was just thanks to a crumb of reason that his brain suggested him to lean on her, realizing he hadn't even checked if she was still breathing.