Second Time Around

chapter 10

Jisoo's POV

I was standing under this big tree near Jeongyeon's house. I want to clear my mind and remove Chaeyoung in it.

Yes, I've been thinking about her since this morning, when I'm preparing for coming here. I'm doing my best not to get affected by what she's doing or who she's with but I don't think I can.

Seeing her being sweet with Lisa when we arrived made me feel irritation that I shouldn't feel.

Seeing her happy talking with that guy named Jimin made me in furious that I shouldn't feel.

"Jisoo." I know is Soojoo so I look at her and she's giving me a questioning look. "What are you doing here?" She asked.

She's my girlfriend, I should focus only to her. I suddenly pull her towards me and kiss her on her lips. I know she startled with this action but I need to do this.

We started to move our lips and I saw her close her eyes. As soon as I closed my eyes the image of Chaeyoung's face pops out that made me instantly open my eyes and pull from the kiss.

What the hell?

"What's wrong?" Soojoo curiously asked. I shook my head in response. "Nothing, let's go back inside. I'm sorry if I startled you." I said.

"It's okay Jisoo. I'm your girlfriend but to be honest, this was the first time you kiss me on my lips." She jokingly remarks with amusement in her voice.

I kept quiet cause I don't have anything to say. I know she will hurt once I told her that it's not her face I'm thinking while I'm kissing her.

I feel so guilty about this. I think I'm cheating on her unintentionally.

I smiled at her and tell her that we should go back inside. Once we're inside she told me that she's going upstairs in our room to take a nap. I nod my head and went to the living room and joined the others whose watching TV.

I sat on a vacant couch and focused myself in the show. "Guys have you seen Rosé?" Lisa suddenly entered the living room asking that question.

I look around and Chaeng is really not here. "She told me she's going to roam around in the area." Jennie replied.

"But it almost 2 hours, she's taking so long roaming around and it's already evening. It's so dark outside." Lisa argue with concern in her voice that made me think. There's familiar feeling inside me ignite thinking that Chaeyoung might be in danger.

I'm about to stand and volunteer to look for her when this Jimin guy suddenly spoke. "I think I know where she is. I'll go and get her."

"I'm coming with you." I said that earn a look from everyone in this room but I ignored it. "No thanks. That place is a secret. Only Chaeyoung and I knows about it." He then rushed out of the house leaving me dumbfounded and yet in furious.

I composed myself not letting anyone see my annoyance. After 10 minutes of waiting, I stood up and goes outside the house. I look around the place to find Chaeyoung but I can't find her.

After 20 minutes, I saw her walking with Jimin so I rush towards them. Seeing him with her made me more irritated.

"Where have you been? Don't you know that everyone is looking for you?" I said angrily but I don't think that my aggravation is working because I saw nothing but blank expression coming from Chaeyoung.

"She's tired Jisoo, let her rest." Jimin said but I ignored him. "Where have you been Chaeyoung?" I added but this guy is keep on answering.

"I said she's tired." I look at Jimin irritatedly "I'm not talking to you so please stop talking." I mockingly replied. We both have staring contest full of challenge in our eyes.

"Stop. Let's go Jimin." Chaeyoung held Jimin's arm and started to walk ignoring me. I want an answer so I held Chaeng's wrist to make her stop from going.

"I'm talking to you." I coldly stated. I was taken aback when she suddenly shove my hand from her and tears started to fall from her eyes.

"Stop acting that you still care for me Jisoo. I'm so fed up. I'm tired of everything. I'm so exhausting. Being hurt and in pain countless of times is so fucking frustrating and tiring. So give me a damn favor, just for two days, just for two fucking days, let's pretend that we're not existed in each other's life. Let's pretend that we didn't know each other. I'm tired of always in agony, I'm tired of always waiting and hoping for the things I know I couldn't get back."

I can feel the pain in her voice, the way her voice crack while speaking is breaking me. She walk out from me leaving me dumbfounded and hurt at the same time.

I feel a painful tug from my chest hearing those words coming from her.

Am I hurting her that much?

Does she know that I'm hurting too?

She's near the house when Lisa suddenly came outside the house. Another set of pang in my chest occur when she suddenly hug Lisa. Lisa glance at my direction then back to Chaeyoung and help her to get inside the house.

Why am I thinking and feeling that that should be me? That should be me whose giving her comfort.

I didn't realize I'm crying right now. After so many years, I found myself crying again because of the same girl who left me 7 years ago.

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It's tomorrow morning and I woke up early. Soojoo is still sleeping beside me. I stood up and went to the bathroom and brush my teeth, after that, I went downstairs to the kitchen to made myself a breakfast.

I think everyone is still sleeping because there's no much of a noise downstairs. I stop on my track as soon as I arrived at the kitchen.

My whole system become nervous seeing Chaeyoung here in the kitchen making some coffee. I think she noticed my presence because she look up and meet my eyes.

But it didn't last long, she divert her eyes back to her coffee and started to move while holding her cup. I moved myself and stop in front of her.

"Why?" I asked but she just ignore me. She's trying to pass me but I didn't let her. She placed her cup on the table and look at me with cold gaze.

"Haven't I made myself clear last night?" She blankly stated.

"Why you suddenly want us to become stranger?"

"Let's stop now Jisoo. We both hurting. No, I think I'm the only one who's hurting. You seem happy with her so please just focus on your girlfriend." She's about to leave me when I held her hand to make her stop.

"Do you think I'm not hurting? Do you think I want to feel this kind of pain in my heart? I stop Chaeng, I stop waiting because I'm tired too. I'm so exhausting waiting for you. Don't think that you're the only one who's hurting because I am too."

"That's right. So I'm asking you to forget about me. If I'm still hurting you, then forget about me. Don't worry, if just by the mere sight of me can make you feel the pain of the past, I'll do my best not to show up. Just like what you said, leaving you is what I'm good at."

After she said that she removed my hand from hers and stare at me with cold expression but sadness in her eyes.

I'm about to say something when suddenly Lisa and Jennie came in the kitchen. "Is everything alright?" Lisa asked. Chaeyoung took a deep breath and face Lisa.

"Everything is fine Lis. I'll go outside to breathe some fresh air." Chaeng happily stated but I can feel that she's pretending to be happy.

She grab her cup of coffee and left us. Jennie and Lisa are staring at me. "Stop making things complicated between you two Jisoo. Your smart, you know yourself. You must decide for yourself wether you keep on hurting each other or make everything right." Lisa stated that left me out of words.

What should I do then? What is the right decision?

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A/n:

We're making progress. Hope this chapter is okay with you guys.