A Secret Between Us.

15."..I miss you.."

Not only did I not sleep a wink that night, but I mostly had to face Livia, who stormed into my room: 'How dare you! Can you make me look like this? Huh? What's in your head?" She was moving like a fury inside those four walls and I was staring at her waiting for her to calm down, but of course things only got worse, she got closer and started pushing me: "don't try to do shit like that again! Don't you dare Colin" I decided to block her wrists "Livia" I shook my head slightly "I don't want to waste any more time, I don't want to hide nor do I want to wait for the paparazzi around London to gossip about our lives"

Livia started to laugh nervously "You don't want paparazzi and you're trying to make it clear to the world that we're separated? Hmm?"

I pulled away and punched the wall "You think your belly won't raise doubts? Huh?" I swallowed, "Don't you think about that?" I didn't hear anything but the door closing and then total silence.

The night passed slowly, I studied the ceiling carefully in the half-light until the first light of day which did not give me the usual desire to get up and start another day, then I thought of my children, then yes, for them I decided to get up and after having ascertained that Livia had already left, I took my time to reach Umbria where I would have seen the children again.

During the journey I stopped to think about many things, above all the fact that they were no longer "little" and were growing up before my eyes like Will, who from one day to the next became a man.

I scanned the landscapes around me, I needed that calm there, I needed the nothingness around me to reconnect with the whole world.

I had Luke drop me off at the gate, picked up the carry-on suitcase I had left in the boot and walked towards the house.

As I walked through the garden, I breathed in the fresh air that touched my skin and gave me little shivers.

The place was magical.

I knocked once I got there and was forced to do it again after waiting about ten minutes without even a reply.

"There..." I heard Livia's voice shout, I clutched the bag tightly in my hands, maybe I had been rude to her, I'm sorry after all, "who is it?"

"It's me..." I whispered, breaking the flow of thoughts, then Livia opened the door, "What are you doing here?"

"I came to hang out with the guys..."

"I didn't...you said you were going to London...the boys aren't there now..." I swallowed as she finished her sentence, she sounded agitated.

"On second thought..can I come in?" I asked, slightly puzzled by her attitude, then I noticed the presence of another person by the reflection of the mirror in the living room, so I didn't think twice and I pushed Livia away, dropping her bag on the spot. "Oh..." I whispered, crossing the room and positioning myself in front of the man. The hatred I felt at that moment was all summed up on my expression.

The man stood up and looked at Livia "I..."

I didn't wait any longer to get underneath him with my body "do you know that what she has in her womb is yours? Huh?" We were facing each other "do you?" I shouted until the man flinched and Livia stood up for him "No..Colin that's enough! You and I have other lives...it's been a while...I didn't want to yell at the world yesterday! Huh?"

I stared at her then glanced up at him "You're right. I want the papers signed by Monday." I turned around and left.

Slamming the door.

I got in the car and yelled at Luke "take me somewhere! Far away from here!" on the way I cried stifling sobs.

I wanted to be away from everyone.