A Secret Between Us.

10.Lights, Camera, Action!

Walked straight home, with my head in the clouds. Kept both hands in my faded pants pockets and my black baseball hat on head; always took it with me any time I decide to pop 'round my neighborhood. Could even eavesdrop a strange melody in the air, one of those songs that carry you along the way, with a fresh gust of wind erasing your cheek and thoughts.
"Colin? Is that you?" As I opened the door, I could hear Livia's call. "I am!"- Put the hat on a cabinet and slowly walked to the kitchen where she was waitin'.  "Hey" She whispered in a strange and suspicious tone.
"Have read your text, what's up?" Said while I put the iPhone on the kitchen island.
She shook her head: looked worried, then a tear scratched her right cheek. Didn't think twice and moved straight to her: "Hey, what's goin' on?" asked her one more time waitin' for a reply. She leaned her face on my chest and then kept talkin': "Can't believe this!" 
Stood back, but she remained stuck with her look focused on a left-sided spot, then spoke again: "my... my period is 10 days late". My breath stopped deep in throat, could feel my heart loudly palpitatin': "Sorry, didn't get it". "I bought a pregnancy test. I know it sounded weird but I couldn't understand how..." She was trying to end the speech when she pointed out the tiny box on the table, while my head was still tryin' to deal with external emotions and my heart stopped beatin' for a brief moment. Got close and took picked the box up and turned to her: "So, you're ...", swallowed loudly but I wasn't able to finish the sentence that she stopped me and kept on and whispered: "I am". She whispered again then put a hand in front of her as to stop me: "Wait, I... must tell you.." Shook my head and raised arms: "So what?" I replied with a shy grin: "Not mine?". She immediately changed her countenance, so I became aware of the reality... and I was right. "What the fuck?"- I spoke out loudly. "Look, it happened! I felt so alone 'cause you flew around the world doin' everything except takin' care of me and your family. You left me here...ALONE!" She started shoutin' out loud: "I didn't want this shit. I really didn't". She slowly fell in tear, but this time I remained impassive and asked, gazin' her: "Who is that dog?". It was just a matter of time before she spoke: "Mark".
Closed my eyes and breathed deeply, few moments later threw the pregnancy test on the floor, turn to the door and got out. Couldn't be, not before knowing I would have become father one more time, at my age and with a come-to-an-ended marriage. That man's name thundered in my head, also knew him but I couldn't believe.
Was walkin' straight to my neighborhood pub when met Stanley's eyes who was just back home: "Hey buddy!" he shouted wavin', but I was too annoyed so he decided to get closer: "What's up man?" he said crossing my way. "Oh, sorry but... was popping to the pub, need to be alone" whispered keepin' my eyes down, so Stan replied: "Ya'll right mate? Sound so... weird". Put his warm hand on my left shoulder, at which I fell in a cleansing wept. Hugged to the only pal I shared adventures and misadventures with, took courage and threw all my flows of thoughts out: "Don't even know what to do, it looks like a limbo, I'm called to put my life in front of never-chosen choices".
"Colin, you've always made the wrong decision to you, but it was right to the ones you love". He replied before leaning against the right-side wall: "I do believe you're a wonderful father so you ain't anything to reproach, even when you'll decide what's right for your will". And so he spoke; those words were gold to me as he's always been a milestone. Nodded and breathed deeply, was 'bout to threw all my daily heft away. "Well, I suggest you to go back". He spoke again, pointing a side back to me, referrin' to my house. "You're not a man who runs away from anything.. then go and if necessary, we'll fancy a beer together!" Cracked a shy smile, listening carefully to my mate's speech and he was right. Was not used to run away from troubles but tension bowled me a googly.
Once home, I walked straight to the kitchen where Livia was still sat and I said in one breath: "We'll do everything possible and we'll do it together, we'll follow through 'casue I will be
by your side. That baby could be mine so, despite all, can't back out. But I must distance my self from you and our marriage. We tried to fix something unfixable, but promise I'll be here for you and our boys". Ended the sentence, without lookin' at her, then retired to my studio.
Few weeks went by, should have started the new Bart's movie shooting in days but I've been contacted by Stan for another project which I immediately accepted without a second thought.
The director told me 'bout the movie key scene where my character had to play piano, so decided to take over this instrument I used to play a long time ago. Surely it would have helped me getting distracted and allowin' few hours of relax.
Turn to a girl who met in a music school where my son Luca took guitar lessons, so we started the following Tuesday. As we got out the studio where I had my first lesson, I heard foot steps behind us, so I turn before realizin' we were swamped by paparazzi.
"please, don't mind! Just keep talking, we're gonna turn right and lose 'em." Whispered, scratchin' my head nervously.
"Don't you worry 'bout them, let's have a coffee. Won't follow us inside". Lizie pronounced this last sentence with a grin, so I followed her in the first pub she saw then we sat down. "What d'ya fancy?" whispered while she was browsin' the menu. "I think I'll have a slice of cheesecake" she answered.
After almost 30 minutes, between one thing and another, we stood up and left the bar, hopin' to be alone then we parted and I went back home. Few hours later, when in my study tryin' to read my script's last pages, heard my phone vibratin', must have been a text. Checked it and saw paparazzi's shoots. They probably seized the moment when Lizie and I parted, of course it was my personal assistant Luke who sent me the shoots.
Ignored them, was not used to be in the spotlight, always spent my private life as smooth as possible, without keepin' the flame on it.
Had an emotions-mixtured week, fillin' up day after day 'till the following Monday, the first shooting day with Julianne. Got inside the mind-set of my job, keepin' from Livia, the baby and everything else.
Sounded strange to me, had a sort of déjà vu, but this time had her husband as director and his eyes on us, without thinkin' 'bout the consequences of being us two, eyes on eyes, after what happened in the Red Café's loos.
Got ready and walked, escorted by Luke, to the studios. Put my effects in my dressing room, then I started takin' my clothes off but, in the same moment unzipped my pants, heard the door openin', so suddenly turned with back on the door, tryin' to cover: "Excuse me but you could knock!" Heard no reply, just a hit on the desk and a female hand holding a paper. Recognized her red freckles, and I stared in front of her: "What the hell are you doin' here?"
"Just keep ya informed on your new loves, you've been having good company since you left your madame" She answered back, then kept on: "Pretty fast I admit. You've just shitted me!" I had no time to reply back that she left, slamming the door. Finally dressed up and took a look at the article, everything was rigged, didn't have any kind of relationship with that girl.
Went right to the set, Bart was waitin' for me while having a word with one of his colleagues, but as he saw me, he shouted: "Ehy, you're the one I was searchin' ". Got closer then gave me a paper. "We can shoot the scene right here, is that ok with you? Would you like more intimacy? 'Cause I can make sure there'd be only three of us, except the cameraman". Had a look to the script, then nodded: "I think we should discuss about it with Ju.. Julianne" She was standing in front of me but I didn't notice immediately. I could see an evident anger in her eyes, but it was the one of someone who had no idea of what was goin' on. However, how could I even think to talk 'bout it in that moment?"
"Come on, honey" Bart shouted again, I closed my eyes and breathed deeply while waited for Juls. "Well, your pal says we should discuss together but, knowing you, I'm sure there won't be any problem. What do you say, darling?".
She nodded and upheld: "I'll let you decide it, Colin". Whispered, almost spellin' my name. So I replied in one go: "Right, let's do it in an other room". She perfectly knew how reserved I was, as she knew that Bart was doing all the possible to intimidate and strikin' me back. His intent was to make me understand that, after that, Julianne and I should have become strangers.  As we came in the room to shoot our first scene, tried to get closer and spoke up: "Look, it's not like that..you must trust me" but she shook her head without listenin' one more word: "I don't wanna trust you". "But how could you even imagine I'm lying to you, after all what happened?" Replied, lookin' at Bart who's about to get the shooting begin. "Doesn't matter what we did, we've just behaved like animals!" she whispered before hearin' the first "lights, camera, action!"
My suspense was drawing its knife slowly across my neck, between a scene and another. Heard those repeated words in my mind, again and again. Couldn't concentrate and Bart notice that: "No, no! Stop! " Got off his chair where he was lookin' and walked towards us. "What's wrong with you bud? You don't remember your parts, that's not like you! Whispered, then put a hand near his mouth and nodded to Julianne so she got closer: "Ok, listen! I'll give you 15 minutes to recharge your batteries". Couldn't go any further so I let it out: "Can't do this, I'm off!" turned and went back to my room; all I wanted to do was getting' those goddam clothes off and cry... alone.
That whole mess dragged me to a mental breakdown: her bloody words, the hell I was livin' at home, Bart as director, all these emotions took me down.
"Imma talk to him". Julianne whispered to her husband: "He's just havin' a hard time" He nodded while watchin' his wife walking towards Colin, then he turned to the crew: "Back in 15 minutes".
After few minutes, heard the door openin' so I dried the tears away: "Please, not now!" whispered, when suddenly felt the touch of her soft hand on my neck, closed my eyes and breathed: "Livia's pregnant". Swallowed; could see her surprised facial expression from the mirror. She was about to say something but I stopped her: "The baby.. isn't mine". She sighted and took my hand: "shhh.,. Don't worry, dear. Calm down please. I'm here now". She whispered and looked deep inside me with her beautiful green eyes: "I'm here.. here" Nodded, dragged by emotions. She held my head, makin' it stick to her abdomen which I started to kiss. She looked down, I could her moanin' and kept kissin' her tummy, lifted her shirt up with my right hand. I looked up at her, wanted to make her come and see her body move on me.
Meanwhile, a jealous and curious Bart moved to the room where Colin and Julianne were staying. She left the door open, so the husband was able to peek from the small chink and thanks to that he realized what was goin' on. He stayed for a few minutes on the doorstep, lookin' at his wife.. the woman who loved.