TO LIE WITH MIDNIGHT ROSES

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RENESSA

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I messed everything up. I made a mess of a forming friendship. Nearly ruining the one I had with Ryker and letting my emotions get in between the friendship of both him and Xavier as well, not to mention what was left of my own. 

No matter how badly Damien has betrayed me or lied to me, I was still the one cheating. I stifle back a laugh mixed with a cry. I wonder how much of what he was saying was true, I wanted it to be. I have hoped and waited for him to call me beautiful. I waited for this but I was too mad at him to believe any of it right now. He was so close to me and so tall, standing before me looking down with his soft eyes and curls that hung low just above his brows and still amidst all my anger, I found him beautiful. 

"I wonder, Xavier. How beautiful can a storm be?"

"Storms can be beautiful disasters," He says and I can feel his breath brush along my skin. My stomach knots and twists just below my navel. My skin hot and I can feel my cheeks burning a light shade of red. I tilt my head up more, our lips one reckless moment apart.

I so badly want to kiss him, ruin everything again, be selfish again and risk it all again but he had pushed me away once already and had told me to leave over and over. I'm not sure if I can handle any more rejection. Why was he doing this to me? Why was he inching closer? Teasing me, pushing me to my limit? I was getting whiplash, the push and pull of it all was tearing at my heartstrings.

I break our eye contact and take a hesitant step away from him. 

"Well, right now I feel like just a disaster."

"Then you are the most beautiful disaster I have ever laid eyes on."

There he goes again, pulling me back in and I wanted to let him but I was scared it would only lead to him pushing me away once more.

I shoot my gaze back up at him, his face becoming serious and his stare unmoving. My stomach continues to knot, my heart skipping a beat at the mere sight of him. I couldn't tell if he wanted to kiss me or rip my neck open. He looks as though he wants to devour me and maybe I'd let him.

In a sound less than a whisper, a delicate graze across my lips the words find their way out of me before I could even second guess myself.

"I want you, Xavier." The air shifts in the room, the energy changing to something I hadn't quite felt before. He looks away, taking my heart with his gaze.

"Renessa, don't..."

"Why do you keep pushing me away?" I cry out, balling my hands tighter at my sides as I try to hold in the anger waiting to explode out of me.

"Please... we can't. I can't"

"No. You don't get to do this. You don't get to make me feel... god... the way you make me feel! You don't get to be that close to me, call me beautiful and then make it seem like I'm misreading the signs—,"

"You aren't but—,"

I ignore him, talking over him, "Like I'm making this up! Like last night in your room, all the signs were there and then you pushed me away. You actually pushed me and then to tell me it was a mistake?" My voice cracked.

He just stares at me with his gorgeous eyes and beautiful face and it was fitting, the fireplace behind him outlining his silhouette in its red and orange flames like he was an angel from hell. A gorgeous angel brought to ruin my life and I want to shove him away but the second my hands meet his chest again I know I would pull him in instead.

I was feeling myself becoming reckless. I felt it, I felt his energy too. There is no way he could deny the chemistry between us— the lust. I could basically feel it all around him and yet he kept pushing and pulling like it was some sort of game and it doesn't matter how much I liked hearing him call me beautiful. It doesn't matter if he had or has feelings for me, whatever they were. I can see now that this will always be a game of tug-a-war between us. He was too much of a mess and so was I.

He doesn't speak, so I do.

"I am done playing this game then. I am done doing whatever it is that we have been doing. I'm done being some kind of game to you. If you don't actually want me just say it and I'm sorry if I read the signs wrong. I'm terrible at reading signs, I'll just roll right through the stop."

He's speechless, utterly speechless. So I continue.

"Don't you dare call me beautiful. Don't you dare hold my hand or play my protector anymore," I take a few more steps back, heart faltering as I near the wall behind me, "I won't take it. If you are just playing around to see if you can get the stubborn Fairy girl to fall for you then you are mistaken. I'm over this. I'm done. I cannot stand your silence, I rather you say anything than be like this. Say you hate me, Xavier, just say it, say anything. There is no need to make me look like a fool."

He still doesn't speak and I want to punch him right in his gorgeous, chiselled face.

"God, would you just say something? Anything?" I huff and then suddenly I feel my nails pierce the skin of my palms.

I hadn't realized how tightly I had balled them into fists. Energy pulses through me. I was a fool to think he was doing anything other than what he was asked to do. He simply was taunting me. Teasing me as usual and I still couldn't help but wonder if it was some sort of sick game, knowing Vampires and Faeries can't be together, was he trying to get me to fall for him? Xavier may think I was beautiful but that didn't mean anything more or anything less. It simply was a statement. An observation.

His voice startles me out of my thoughts and I hadn't realized how quickly he moved. Standing now directly in front of me, he looks down. Nose to nose we stand as he takes hold of my wrists, bringing them up and pinning them above my head against the wall.

"What did I say would happen if you did this again?"

My chest begins heaving up and down, trying to catch my breath but I was engulfed with the scent of him as I tried to hold back the tears pressing against my eyelids.

"That both your fangs would be... would be on my... my neck." I manage to get out.

He drops my hands to my side and I close my eyes. Ready for him to do as he said, keeping his promise but then suddenly his hands are around my waist; shoving me back hard against the wall. Hot breath hits my neck as I gasp for air when suddenly cool, wet lips connect with my delicate skin right against my pulse point.

"Xavier, what are you—," My eyes shoot open. I should be scared of how close he was to my throat. He was just inches away from sinking his teeth into me just as he said he would yet somehow, the idea of being on the brink of death, toying with it, baiting it and waiting for it to bite somehow made me feel alive. My fingers sparked as electricity ran through my veins.

"You are no fool, Renessa," His lips brush against my neck with each word sending shivers down my spine and along my arms.

He tilts his head up, meeting my eyes.

"I am," He whispers and then his lips are met with mine.