TO LIE WITH MIDNIGHT ROSES

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XAVIER

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There's a silence that washes over the Cabin for the next few days.

Renessa hardly leaves my room, we've barely held a conversation, and she can hardly look at me. I'm not quite sure if it's from what had happened before in Jaxon's study, or what I said the other night but I was so close to kissing her again, falling back into her again and I think she would have let me but it wouldn't have been fair for me to let her.

I said what I needed to, most of it anyway but it would not be right for me to tell her more, not now, not after what happened. She deserves more, she deserves better than me and she deserves better than Damien.

The thought of him alone repulsed me but I try not to focus on the anxious feeling that sits low in my stomach and rather focus on trying to figure out where and how I am going to track down the Brightworths. All I know is that Renessa will not be the way, she will not be involved, even if it's the easiest option.

The day dragged on as I spent my time crafting a clear-cut way to get to Damien and as I found myself drafting up a conclusion and the night began to settle upon the cold winter trees outside, I hear the door to Renessa's room creak open as she steps out into the hallway.

"Xavier?" She whispers.

"Yes," I respond, quickly making my way over to the hall.

She's standing, leaning against the door frame, her hair is a tousled mess of waves and she's only wearing what looks to be one of my white t-shirts.

"I can't sleep. I keep thinking and dreaming of ... everything." Her voice is soft but there's a tremble behind her lip as it quivers.

I give her a knowing look as I reach out to grab her hand and she lets me. Softly, I intertwine our fingers as I walk us into the bedroom and help her get back into bed.

We lay together silently and she rolls over to face me as she folds herself up under the covers.

I tuck the stray pieces of hair that fall across her face behind her ear as she blinks up at me, running my hand along her hair as her eyes grow heavy.

"I miss you," She mumbles, "I should be so afraid of you, I should hate you but I miss you."

"I never intended to hurt you, Renessa." I say, lips brushing against her skin as I gently kiss the top of her head, "I haven't let myself feel so out of control in ages. I am so sorry."

She nods ever so slightly, curling up a bit closer into my chest and in this moment I feel a sense of calmness wash over me as my arms now wrap around her body. In this moment, I could stay here forever.

"I wish we could be together." She whispers into my chest.

Something stings inside me, a feeling I hadn't quite felt in a long time and I know exactly what she means. Knowing now what she is, what we are and everything at stake between us.

I had already hurt her, and the things that waited outside this cabin for both of us were far more important than figuring out what we could be.

"Me too, my little Fairy."