TO LIE WITH MIDNIGHT ROSES

||37||

XAVIER

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

He was dancing with her with his goddamn hand on her hip and I hated that she looked so good tonight.

 I hated it because I knew just how good her lips felt and If I had better control over my urges I could've been standing there, dancing with her right now instead of him. But he didn't kiss her, he didn't know what It was like to have her warm lips that tasted like candy against his or maybe he did; she never actually told me.

She's laughing again, dimples forming on her cheeks as his other hand intertwined with her fingers, I could hear her laugh cut through music like a song of its own. I couldn't handle watching her with him. I tuned out their voices so I couldn't hear her voice any longer.

"Varida I need to get some fresh air, why don't you pour us another round of drinks and I'll be right back?"

She smiled wide, softly brushing her hand along my cheek before she turned away and without another second I was gone. It felt like hours had passed but it was only minutes before her sweet scent washed over me again, spinning around at the sound of the door slamming shut. I see her.

"Stalking me now are you?" I ask, wondering why those were the first words out of my mouth when I hadn't spoken to her all night and fuck, she looked stunning and I was too much of a coward to tell her.

"I thought you were outside," Is all she says in response before leaning up against the doorway. Her voice seems shaky and out of breath, "I can leave."

"You should," I state a little too quickly, and she chews her bottom lip, giving a nod. "But, I should at least wish you a happy birthday first."

"Belated."

"Yes, belated birthday." I roll my eyes at her, then lean up against the chair behind me. I was in Jaxon's study. The walls were lined with shelves filled with books, many of them from his time studying law. Two large chairs sat in front of a stone fireplace and to my left was a large wooden desk sprawled with papers and quills, candles and empty glasses of alcohol.

She looks me up and down as her breathing slows, her chest rising and falling in steady beats. Renessa closes her eyes, letting out a defeated breath before she turns to leave. Music still played from the living room, echoing down the hall and filling up the awkward silence as I watch her hand wrap around the door handle and my body stiffens when she stops.

"I don't want to save you. I don't pity you and I am not pathetic."

She is still for a moment, refusing to turn and look at me. Her head hangs low as her hair falls over her shoulders exposing her back.

"I think you have a beautiful soul, Xavier. I can see it in your eyes. All I want is for you to see that too, to forgive yourself."

She clicks the handle, the door cracks open and a glimmer of light from the hall creates shadows dancing across the walls. Then, I was behind her, chest to her back with my hands pressed up against the wooden door in a matter of seconds. It slams shut beneath my palms. I didn't even let myself think of any of the consequences. The only thought running through my mind was her and her kiss. Her breathing becomes rapid again, shaking slightly as her grip on the handle loosens.

"You are not pathetic."

She spins around at the sound of my voice, her back becoming flush with the door as she tilts her chin to look up at me. Our eyes meet and for the first time tonight, I notice how sad she looks. My hands are placed beside her head as I look down at her. Her lips part as if she is about to say something but she stops.