Banana Pancakes

Waiting woes (Part 20)

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Part 20

Waiting woes

It gets worse.

For the total of twelve years that I've known Kongpob Suthiluck, I've never cried over him - never. That may be hard to believe because he's made my life a living hell more than once before, but the truth is I've never cried over him. I've cried over the things he's done to me, but I've never cried over him. The difference - I think, is because Kongpob spared me. Sure, I've worried sick about him, but I've never shed a tear.

But I was so close to when I found out that he had ran away with May.

I couldn't understand why Kongpob would run away.
I couldn't understand why Kongpob didn't tell me.
I just couldn't understand why.

But this was the reason why Fu-Ten had stormed into Kongpob's apartment that morning. The phone call I had heard him pick up had something to do with May. I found out later from Mike that Kongpob had arrived early in the morning and discharged May from the hospital. Together - the two of them - left the hospital and quite possibly Bangkok as well.

When Fu-Ten found out about this, he was so angry that he turned her hospital room upside down. He went absolutely ballistic trashing the place until the hospital staff had no choice but to call the police. He managed to leave before they came, but the police still traced his steps to Kongpob's apartment. Apparently, he had wrecked the entire neighborhood before arriving.

Fu-Ten was absolutely psycho.

Kongpob was psychotic too. That's what I thought when I heard the news that he had disappeared along with May. It was hard for me to believe it because, even though this wasn't completely out of characteristic for Kongpob, how could he just get up and leave? He didn't leave a note. He didn't pick up his phone. He didn't call me. Kongpob Suthiluck left my life as if it was the easiest thing for him to do.

I forced myself to not feel angry.
I forced myself to not feel hurt.
I forced myself to not cry.

We had settled what we were that night. We liked each other. But we could never be more than friends because it wouldn't be right. We would ruin our comfort. But they were lies. All lies. Kongpob had done this to me before - so many times that I've lost count, that I don't record in my thoughts anymore. He likes to keep me waiting. And I honestly didn't know how long I was going to wait anymore.

So I had no other choice.

I went on with my life for the rest of the week in a daze.

Inferno was lit ablaze with the news of Kongpob's disappearance. SeungRi and Mike told me that Dragon was so angry when he found out that he sent out a search party for Kongpob, only to come up with no news. Even at school, I could hear the side conversations contemplating the disappearance of Kongpob and the new girl May. It was the hottest news. Everyone expected me to know, but they saw the truth in my eyes when I replied, "I don't know." Jessica was extremely disappointed that I, like everyone else, had no clue where Kongpob had gone to.

"You really don't know?" Mr. Suthiluck's voice came over the phone line, a little tired and angry at the same time. "Arthit, if you're trying to help him -"

"I'm not," I said softly. "Really. I don't know where he went to. I tried calling his phone so many times and it goes straight to his voicemail."

Kongpob's father sighed. "I'm having people look for him, but - alright - if there's any news, call me right away Arthit. I want to be the first person to kill him when he resurfaces."

"I will," I promised.

Kongpob's father had a strange way of hiding how worried he was. But it couldn't have been a good thing to know that your son had disappeared. Even though they didn't get along, they at least shared one phone conversation during the week that entailed a lot of screaming and arguing. But since this week he couldn't make the regular phone call he usually made to Kongpob, Mr. Suthiluck called me.

Approximately two weeks went by, and no news came about of Kongpob and May.

Then there was Liam, who looked worried sick every day I saw him at school. He told me that Fu-Ten had come to his house, caused a major scene and forced him to tell the truth. Liam said he had no choice but to tell Fu-Ten the truth - that the baby inside of May's stomach was indeed his. His parents were in shock and his mom had to be rushed to the hospital. To make matters worse, May's real father found out too.

"My entire family is a mess right now." Liam was slumped over the stack of books in the library as he recalled. "May's phone is disconnected - we have no idea where she is. May's mom wants to file a missing person's report."

"Did she?" I asked him, alarmed.

"No. I convinced her to wait. May will be back. She has to be." Liam looked exhausted for a minute as he thought. Then he turned to face me with those liquid eyes. "Has - has Kongpob contacted you?"

"No." I went back to sorting the books on my table.

"Has Kongpob disappeared like this before?"
"No... Has May?"
"No."
"Where do you think the two of them disappeared to?"
"I don't know. Do you think they'll be back soon?"
"I don't know."

From that point on, Liam and I had another thing in common. His stepsister and my best friend had ran away to God-knows-where. We were the two people that got interrogated the most, and we both had no idea. All I knew was that Liam was just as mad as I was about the whole situation. It was apparent how close he was to May; how close Kongpob and I are - is indescribable in words.

"I miss her you know? I just hope she makes it back in time for the premiere at The Juice Shop. I really want her to be there. Jared said I shouldn't worry - but I worry," Liam told me on Friday - almost a week since their disappearance.

I was quiet at his words.

Everyone must've thought I was extremely shocked at Kongpob's actions. To be completely truthful, I wasn't. I just had had enough of his spontaneity. I was sick and tired of it. It was more like disappointment than feeling anything else. I was disappointed that this was the way Kongpob Suthiluck chose to deal with the mess he created. Running away with a gangster's pregnant girlfriend must've sounded like a genius master plan to him. He was going to reap what he sowed - and I wasn't quite sure I wanted to be his "best friend" anymore if he was willing to put me through this kind of situation.

But try as I might, for the rest of the week, there wasn't a single day that I didn't think about him - that I wondered where he was, what he was doing, whether he was safe etc., It got to the point where I became automatic in a way. I did everything to pretend that I was fine, that I didn't care, that I wasn't thinking about Kongpob Suthiluck while he was the topic on everyone's tongue.

I forced myself not to care.

I became an emotional ticking time bomb.