drips

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hey people that like ranboo
this isnt shipping whatsoever
tw for the a/n: abuse
decided to write a vent chapter because my mom yelled at me for literally nothing. Im being verbally abused ☺️. anywaysss sorry for not updating often, i have no motivation. BUT if you join my discord sever you can talk to me. link in bio!

this vent chapter is straight from my heart. I didn't plan to write this week

tw: self harm. suicidal thoughts. very descriptive of everything
___________________________
PSHHHHHHHHHHH

the water goes

PSHHHHHHHHHHH

the blood goes

DRIP

i saw the new and old scars on my arm. the open ones looked bad.

the muscle on my upper arm is ripped and teared. I feel every bit of the throbbing of all my scars.

i've never been clear with scars.

i don't clean them

i don't feel the need to.

the only sanitary measures i take are slightly washing it and even then i sometime don't.

i've always felt unwanted.

I mean, why do i always feel unwanted or not cared for around Tubbo? But when I'm around Tommy he always asks if im okay. He makes me feeling wanted and actually liked and i have a purpose.

Tommy is a good friend.

one of my best friends i would say.

My parents never made me feel that way.

my parents hated me.

just because i was have enderman and half.... uh something else!

they never knew what i was.

They guessed i was a Ghast but they later found out i'm not.

my life has always been shitty.

i've been slitting my wrists and cutting muscle on my arm for around a year now.

at this point i'm just

numb

nothing

i dont feel shit

well i except pain when im cutting my red muscle

i hope no one finds out i do this.

my life would be so much worse if someone walked in on me.

it'd be shit

______________
325 words

hope you enjoyed

-toby :)

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