Remus-Centric

I'll Stop!! (Dukexiety)

I'm back and with more angst!!

I've got an idea for a part 2 for this one so I might write that at some point.

—————————

Tw's: Panic attacks, unintentional self harm, thoughts of self harm, disturbing intrusive thoughts, slight mention of blood, claustrophobia (locked in a closet), autophobia (intense fear of being alone/abandoned), u!light sides and Janus, mild dissociation.

Tell me if I missed any.

—————————

Remus is surrounded by an empty void. Everywhere he looks, he just sees nooks and crannies and darkness for monsters to hide. His thoughts all bounce around in his head, making him dizzy.

Alone.

Janus always managed to get rid of the monsters. Virgil always kept him safe.

They're gone.

Remus takes in a shaky breath. They're not gone. Just on the other side of the door. Right?

But what if they aren't?

That's not possible. They have to be. They have to.

Remus opens his eyes. He's in his room, it looks the same as how he's always remembered it. But something isn't right. There's nobody there. Nothing, just silence.

Slowly, he gets up off the floor he was curled up on, eyes darting around the room. He's looking for something, anything.

It's still empty.

The whispers in his head are growing louder with every step he takes towards the door. They're yelling at him, screaming at him.

He runs. He scrambles to get out his room, down the hall and up the stairs. Patton, Roman, Logan and Janus are on the couch. The voices in Remus' head go quiet.

With a shaky breath, Remus walks into view of the others, trying not to flinch at the collective groan.

"Hey, dorks!" His legs feel like jelly as he walks fully into the living room, quickly plopping down on the floor in front of the couch.

"What are you doing here?"

"Obviously, I'm here to annoy you Logeek!"

"Consider yourself successful."

The voices are already crawling back. Remus starts to fidget with the itchy fabric of his shirt sleeves, eyes glassing over as he turns to the tv. He can't tell what's playing.

"People used to let bugs eat you alive as a method of torture. What does human flesh taste like? Could I eat mine? What if I tore away all of my skin? Would it hurt? Can I even die?"

Remus' thoughts are spilling out from his mouth like a waterfall. He wants to stop. He wants to stop so badly but he can't. His nails dig into the skin of his palms. The voices are quiet again, instead replaced by his own.

"Hey, Brother." Remus is startled out of the trance like state and smiles wide when he realizes Roman actually talked to him. Willingly.

"Hi!" There's a flash of guilt in Romans eyes, but he quickly covers it up with another smile.

"I've got a surprise for you, Remus." The dark sides eyes light up. He scrambles trying to stand up, following his brother excitedly.

He's led into the hallway, Roman stopping in front of the lights coat closet.

"So what's the surprise Ro-Bro?" Before he even has the chance to process what's happening, Remus is shoved in the closet. The click of the door locking sends him in a panic.
"Roman, what's going on?" There's no response. Remus' breathing picks up.
"R-Roman? This isn't funny... Let me out."