💡From The Diary Of Noorin💡

Chapter 17

Allah is truly near, He responds to the people who call upon Him. The love of Allah is a light that if you're without it, you're in the ocean of darkness.

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Two days before the wedding day, I received a message from Azaan which I was crying since I read it. I don't know, but I felt guilty for the first time since when he came back. I really hurt him but the poor soul always believed that he's the one that hurt me. I'd never spare him a minute to explain himself why he'd left. I knew so well he didn't do that on purpose, he has his own reason. I should have let him redeem himself as he told me. I'm so stupid to let my ego get well on me. And now that I wanted to talk to him, I can't see him. I've being trying his number but it isn't reaching which means he left. I still can't say no to my parent's decision, but I want to at least ask for his forgiveness.

"Muhsin told me that he'd left" Salwa confirmed after she sat beside me.

"Yeah I think of that too" I muttered.

"I'm so sorry Noorin but seriously you should inform our parents about him, stop deceiving your self. You love him whether you believe me or not then, why will you hurt your feelings? This isn't a good idea. For God sake you're the one living your life, you have the soul and capability to make your own decision, no one can force you to do what you don't want because you are responsible for your life. Know your power and know that you're the only master of your own!".

She narrowed her eyes at me seeing the kind of look I'm giving her.

"When did you became a motivational speaker?" My voice is low but it's audible enough for her to hear me since she's sitting close to me.

"You're making me one you don't know? Yah! Be serious Noorin I'm really telling you this because you're my sister and I love you". She declared.

"And I hate you!" I mumbled laying on my back.

She smacked my thigh saying that I'm never seems serious whenever she's serious. By Allah I don't want to make it hard on people, I knew I terribly need someone that I will lay on his shoulder and tell him all my pains. My family can do that for me, but I don't want to make it difficult on them. I don't want to be selfish. I want to always see that happiness on my parent's eyes the time they decide they'll hooked me up with Akhi. I want to be an obedient and a grateful child, at least I can do this for them.

And for a matter of fact, Akhi is not bad. I knew well he'll take care of me and will never hurt me. I don't have feelings for him but little by little he'll make me learn to love him, beside I'm a girl, it won't be difficult for him to reach my heart. There will come a day when I will start to feel his love. But, I don't know! Can I really replace Azaan with him? That'll be hell!...

"Noorin! I'm talking to you!" Salwa yelled cutting off my thoughts.

"Shinu?; what? Sorry I didn't hear you" I apologized.

"Akhi is here to talk to you, I'm leaving" she informed rolling her eyes.

"No please you can stay, I don't want be alone with him" I stood up and grabbed my hijab that I left on the prayer mat. Salwa have already reached to the door.

"Salwa bit-rajjaaki; please" I begged.

"Stop fooling around, make sure you tell him what's really on your mind so that all this will end!" She warned.

"I promised! But please can't you just stay?" I sound desperate.

"Stop begging me I'm not staying" She affirmed and without waiting to hear what I'm going to say, she sauntered out of the room.