Total drama group chat but GAY

🧁

tw: depression, suicide

DJ's pov

"DJ HONEY, CAN YOU GET THE THE SOY SAUCE PLEASE?" Shouts mama.

"I'm coming mama!" I shout back from the kitchen, tonight me and mama are inviting a few close frieinds of mine for dinner with a BBQ. Duncan, Geoff, Bridgette and Leshawna are coming along with mama's brother and sister in law, Tina and Brian.

I come into the backyard patio where mama has set up the lawn chairs and table along with the BBQ.

"Thanks DJ dear" mama says rubbing my ear affectionately. Then after a bit more preparing, we hear the doorbell ring.

"i'll get it mama" i tell her walking to the door. I open it to see Geoff and Bridgette.

"DJ dude, it's great to see you brah!" He greets me and Bridge says a simple "Hey deej" and walks in. A minute or two later the bell rings again, this time whem i open the door, Leshawna is on the other side.

"Sup brother, gimme some sugar!" she says giving my hand a shake and then an elaborate fistbump we use often.

"Hey Leshawna, lovely to see you again!" I invite her in after that. She sits in the lawn and starts chatting to Bridge and Geoff.

"*clears throat* uuhhhhh DJ?" I turn to see Duncan at the door, i smile wide at him and give him a tight hug.

"Aw Duncan man, i've missed you" i tell him before letting go and moving aside so that he can enter, which he does.

Eventually Tina and Brian arrive and mama brings them out back to join the fun too.
Then i remember the gift i got everyone, and i rush to my room to get my handbaked cupcakes.

Duncan's pov

I know i'm not a good person, at all. I know i'm an asshole, selfish, narcassistic and obnoxious. I'm not blind for fuck sake. But i don't know why so many people are hellbent on hating me, why can't people just not hold a grudge.

I get pulled out my thought's by Bridgette snapping her fingers in my face.

"Hello, earth to Duncan. What's wrong? are you ok?" she saks concerned.

"huh? oh yeah, i'm good, i just need to go inside for a bit" i say before heading inside to cool off. I wander around the house before i stumble across the bathroom, i head in deciding i needed to take a leak.

Afterwards, i continue wandering until i come across an open door to what i assume is DJ's room. I walk in to find it empty. DJ must have left to see the others i find myself thinking as i sit down on the soft, comfy bed.

I sit there for a while just thinking. God why does everyone hate me or why am i such a horrible person i know i'm not doing myself any favours here but i coukdn't care less to be honest.

DJ's pov

I walk back outside with my tray of cupcakes for everyone.

"omg, dude! these are so rad!" Geoff compliments me and i smile at my mama who smiles back.

Then i realise someone's missing.

"Uh hey guys, where's Duncan?" i ask.

"he looked pretty shit earlier, he said something about needing to go inside and then dipped" Bridegette explains to me.

"I'll go check on him, he could be anywhere right now" i tell them before heading inside again to look for Duncan.

I walk around checking the rooms one by one, asking for Duncan. Eventually i get to my room and open the door.

I see Duncan sitting on my bed with his head in his hands and his hands are shaking.

"Duncan, buddy you doing ok?" i ask him. He notices me and starts wiping away what seems to be tears.

"Go away i'm fine" he tells me shakily.

"No, i'm not going to leave you here to deal with whatever your dealing with alone" i tell him firmly. He just stares at me silently.

I go to sit next to him and wrap my arm around his shoulder, "look, i know it's not really my buisness but you're my best friend, and i can't bear to see you like this, so please just tell me what's going on" i say quietly.

He sniffs a bit and pauses, before he starts talking.

"i- i just, argh it's so stupid anyway!" He groans.

"Nothing is stupid ok, you obviously need this off your chest" i reassure him.

he waits a moment before continuing.

"i just feel like everyone hates me, that someone is always wanting me gone, or that i don't matter. I only act so mean to people because i'm scared of getting hurt myself. I only act so homophobic because i'm scared of people hurting me for being a certain way, or judging me based off of my past. I feel like everyone's always glaring at me or waiting till i slip up to jump on my back. And i'm feeling so stressed and upset and- " he can't continue and he bursts into tears, burying his face in my chest.

i wrap my arms around him and whisper sweet nothings into his ear.

"Someone times i just want to kill myself to make others happy, one second i'll be fine and the next i want to put a bullet in my head" he sobs harder soaking my shirt but i ignore it in favour of talking to my best friend.

"hey hey hey... you're not a bad person Duncan, and no one wants you to die. There are people who love you and treasure you, like me, Geoff, mama, Bridgette and even though they don't say it, none of our friends would ever want you gone. We love you Dunc, i love you." i say to him with tears in my own eyes now.

"...i- i love you too DJ" we then sit there for however long. I don't dare let him go as i need him to know that no one deserves to die. And everyone is worthy of love.

i personally feel like this was a really important chapter for this book as i wanted to cover a bit of character development for Duncan since i've kinda bullied him this entire fic. Also depression and suicide are serious things and if anyone considers this, please don't, whoever you are i am certain there are people who love you and wouldn't want you to leave, so please consider that.

with that said, i hope you enjoyed and i love u all x