Beyond Hope

Chapter 7

"You can be quite a bitch."

My feet were killing me. I was dreaming of a long, hot bubbly bath, possibly a face mask while listening to some music... either way, my night was going to end up with me lying in bed, starfish style, waiting for sleep to take over, which I suspected would happen fairly quickly.

My dream came crashing the second I entered the house.

Lily's key stood perfectly positioned inside the glass bowl designated as keyholder, the one she never used, typically just tossing it on the table. There was a hint of satisfaction seeing the keys, for once at its place, but it soon vanished as my brain assimilated the meaning of it; Lily was home.

Not talking to her was difficult, but so was the idea of our confrontation. The prospects were grim, but I started walking, encouraged by the silence of the house. Maybe she was in her bedroom. Maybe I could walk in unnoticed, I thought as my feet rose to support my weight only with the tip of my toes. I practically slid through the hardwood floors, decided not to give away my presence.

"Well, well, look who we have here."

I almost lost my balance, startled by Lily's voice. Turns out she had far more ninja potential than I did because I didn't notice her on the couch until she spoke. Sitting so straight that even my mom would approve of her posture, she was still wearing her work clothes, holding a thick book hostage between her flawlessly manicured nails.

"Yeah, hi." I nodded to acknowledge her presence. "It's been a long week, I'm so tired..."

She interrupted me letting the book fall on the couch "no, no, Hope. Don't even think about it. You're not running away."

"I'm not..."

"The fuck you're not... Oh, for Christ's sake, quit that already." She said when I pursed my lips at her foul language. "You're a grown-up woman, Hope. You can hear a little curse word here and there, and you can face your problems instead of running away from them."

I felt a weight pressing on my chest. Lily never rose her voice before. Never spoke so harshly to me.

"I am not running away from any problems. I don't have any problems." I said enunciating every word slowly.

"Well, that makes you one in seven billion," she said, controlling the spontaneous smile that threatened to emerge on her lips. "If you don't have any problems, certainly this conversation won't cause any harm." She pointed to the space on the couch in front of her. Her gesture calm, almost too delicate for her. She thought this was good to talk about Asher, to discuss what happened. She thought she could help, I realized.

"Come on, Hope. It's just me," she added.

"Fine", I managed to push the words through my dried throat.

Keeping my eyes on her, I did what she asked me to, sitting down. Lily maintained a rigid posture and held my gaze for a few more seconds before letting out a sign. "First, I want to clarify that I had no idea that Asher was your Asher,"

"He's not mine and never was."

"You know what I mean."

"No. You used the same expression that day, and I don't appreciate it."

"Ok. Well, let me rephrase then," she shrugged "I didn't know our neighbor was the Asher you were best friends with during your childhood and teenage years."

I nodded. "I understand that, Lily. It never crossed my mind you knew."

Her lips parted in relief. "Yes, but I wanted to say it to you. I wanted that to be very clear, Hope. If I knew..."