Beyond Hope

Chapter 13

"What would you erase from your world?"

The talk with Flora after work meant I wasn't able to travel in my usual subway. Knowing that I wouldn't need to wait long before another one arrived, I relaxed a bit. I still was going to get home an hour later than usual, but it was worth it. That time spent with Flora was great, and it was not as if I had some appointment to get to, at least not until next week, when I started to help Mark with his books.

I wondered how he got such an extensive collection, and what type of literature I would find there. Would we have the chance to talk about that? He said he started since he learned how to read. Maybe he had been a nerdy kid. I smiled at the mental image of a dark haired boy with his nose stuck between the pages of a book, and I wondered if we would get to know each other better.

My thoughts kept me company all the way home. I tightened the hold on my key, ready to open the apartment's door when Lily beat me to it. She stopped just before crushing against me, visibly flustered.

"Are you ok?"

"Yes." She waved a stack of paper in front of me. "Mixed up papers at work. Maybe I'll have to drive back to the office, but I'm still trying to see if someone can pick this up. By the way, you have a visitor." She winked before rushing towards the elevators, pressing her cell phone to her ear.

I made my way inside, recognizing the man waiting right away. Even if he was not facing me, Asher's tall figure gave me an instant feeling of familiarity; the new proportions of his body, the board shoulders and curves of well developed biceps weren't there five years ago, but his aura, warm and inviting, was the same.

"Hey, there", I greeted him, a smile immediately rising to my lips.

"Hey, you're late." He pointed out with a mocking pout on his mouth.

"Sorry, I didn't realize we were supposed to meet today."

"We weren't," he chuckled. "I just had something I wanted to give you and decided to show up. Lily invited me to wait, she said you would be here soon."

"Well, I usually come home straight from work, but I met with a friend. We had some coffee and got caught up in conversation." He nodded. "So... You said you have something for me? Don't tell me you bought me a present, Ash."

"Actually, I did. A few years ago..." a ting of pink appeared just below his bright blue eyes, making the color pop up even more. Even in all the years we have known each other, I have only seen him blush a hand full of times.

"Oh, I didn't actually think... Wait, what do you mean, a few years ago?"

He picked up a red paper bag, extending it to me. "I had that along with some of my work stuff, and today I was going through a few drawers... Well, it's been a while, but they are yours."

I accepted the bag, our fingers brushing for a second before he took a step back. There was a hesitance in his movements that struck fear in my heart. Even if the memories of our past together were laced with reminisces of Grace and her death, I knew losing Asher again would be a blow my heart might never recover from.

"What is it?" I asked, trying not to look at the bag as if it was a ticking bomb.

"A present. I bought it...a few months after I started college. I know it sounds silly, but I kept it thinking we were going to talk soon, and that," he said pointing to the gift, "was going to be a perfect way of make peace."

I considered his words. A few months after the beginning of college meant I was already ignoring him for quite some time, and he still bought me a gift, hoping to make things right, as if it was his job to apologize for my selfish behavior. Whatever was inside that bag he kept for years... My heart doubled the size, realizing what I was holding could never drive us apart; it was the physical proof of his loyalty, his affection. That he waited over five years to give it to me... I didn't have words to explain the feeling.