Beyond Hope

Chapter 10

"I should have stayed."

A fire burned underneath the honey iris of Lily's eyes, but she held her tongue. I couldn't help noticing how her cheeks tinged pink in what was probably a direct cause of the effort she was making to listen to me quietly. If smoke blew off her ears, I wouldn't be surprised.

When I finished telling her about the events of that afternoon, she finally let her emotions spill by pulling me into a bone-crushing hug. I allowed my body to sag against hers, relieved by the contact, the proximity. I needed it, especially after seeing Mark leave so abruptly, despite my moment of vulnerability.

I refrained from telling Lily about that part. I bet she would have some colorful words to address Mark, but maybe it was my fault; there was a reason I had kept those memories to myself all these years. No one would ever understand.

Lily used a poorly crafted excuse to exchange her Friday night routine for two romantic comedies and a large bowl of caramel dripping popcorns, nested with me under a fuzzy blanket.

The next day, I reassured her I was in better spirits, and to prove so, I assemble a little working station on our dining table and started on the work I had brought home with me. A couple of hours later, she left to attend a brunch birthday from a coworker.

The reading I had found so difficult to concentrate on the previous day was actually an amazing love story littered with sarcastic humor, so refreshing that put a smile on my face. I finished my notes to see how I had messed up the once perfectly organized pens I used to work with. Mark's words came to memory. All the details he noticed about me... I shook my head. It meant nothing.

The buzz from the doorbell captured my attention.

For a second, shadowing, brown eyes appeared in my mind. I knew it was impossible. He wouldn't be on the other side of that door.

The buzz sounded again, and I realize I was still in the same spot. Rushing to open the door, I felt my legs wave in surprise. The dark eyes that were on my mind were not, in fact, the ones waiting for me. Quite the opposite. Light blue, bright as a summer cloudless day, was the color staring back at me.

"Asher?"

His shoulders were hunched, body height supported by a hand, firmly planted against the wall, and the way he gave me a barely visible nod with his head, hiding his eyes behind his lashes... Ash I could read... even after all these years.

He wanted me to be the first to talk, but what would be the perfect thing to say?

"Lily's not home."

His eyes dropped further down... Definity, not the right thing to say.

"I know," he said, straitening his posture. "I came to see you. If... that's ok?"

"Yes, yes." I moved my body away from the door, encouraging him to enter the house.

Even if I wanted to, I couldn't deny his visit. Not like that. I knew it five years ago when I stop communicating with him... If I just picked up the phone and he asked to see me, I would let him back in, like I was doing now.

I stopped at the edge of the kitchen island, where I surprised him with Lily. The dark granite was now empty, no vases, the tulips being long gone.

"Would you like some water, a coffee?"

"No, thank you. I'm good."

"Should we sit?"

"Yeah, sure."

He intertwined his fingers letting his hands fall near his knees leaning slightly forward, distressing the dark green cotton of his t-shirt around his shoulders. "Look, Hope, I've been thinking about the last time we talked, and I know it didn't go too well, but knowing you are so close by... It makes me think about other things as well, about the past."