You sat in the kitchen and was in the process of refilling your dosette boxes with medications. You sighed heavily as you looked at the pills. You didn't want to take medications on a daily basis anymore. Did you really need them? Perhaps you should try going off them? Just for a couple of days and see what it was like. As this thought crossed your mind, Tom entered the kitchen and smiled warmly at you. He walked up to stand next to you and leaned in to give you a kiss. You answered the kiss gladly, welcoming the distraction.
"Do you need any help?" Tom offered after breaking the kiss before it got too heated. He sat down in the seat next to you and looked at the boxes of pills and emptied pill charts.
"You could throw away the empty charts if you like," you told him, a bit embarrassed about the fact that you had to take medications. You began to gather the pill boxes to put them in the medicine cabinet which you kept in one of the kitchen cabinets. You sighed as you dropped one box on the floor, and Tom was quick to aid you by picking it up.
"Let me do it," he offered when you were about to climb on top of a chair to reach the top shelf where the medicine cabinet was located. You handed him the boxes and smiled as you watched him put them back in place without using the chair. You went to put your dosette boxes in their usual spot at the bottom shelf in the cabinet, where you could reach them with ease.
The next morning, you were planning on skipping your morning medications, but it proved to be difficult in Tom's presence.
"Don't forget your meds," Tom reminded you from his seat by the kitchen table. He smiled up at you as you took out the pills from the dosette box and placed them in your mouth. You grimaced slightly before you swallowed them along with some water.
A similar thing happened when you were planning on skipping your evening medications.
"Did you take your meds?" Tom wondered as you slumped down next to him on the sofa. It had been a long day and you had been looking forward to snuggling with him for some comfort.
"Mhm," you hummed and put your head on his shoulder. You weren't used to lying to Tom, it felt strange, as if you were going to give yourself away if you looked at him.
"Good girl," he spoke into your hair and kissed the top of your head lovingly. Now you felt bad for lying, but couldn't really take it back without making a fool out of yourself.
It continued like this for a couple of days; Tom reminded you to take your medications or asked if you had taken them and you told him you had. You felt bad about lying to him, but was certain that he would convince you to take your medications if you told him about your decision not to.
One evening, Tom called your name from the kitchen asking you to come there. Your heart dropped as you saw him standing there with the dosette boxes in his hands and a frown on his face.
" what's going on?" Tom asked as he put the boxes down on the table and walked up to you. He looked confused as to why you hadn't been taking your medications.
"I... I want to be able to be without them," you told him truthfully as you lowered your gaze in shame. You felt ashamed, not because you had stopped taking your medications, but because you had been lying to Tom about it. Part of you had wanted to come clean all along, that's why you hadn't removed the pills from the dosette boxes as you lied about taking them.
"But darling, the doctor told you it was important that you kept taking them, even if you felt better. They're meant to help you," Tom reminded you and gently put a finger under your chin, tilting your head upwards to get you to look at him. His blue eyes were filled with concern and you felt even worse than you had before about leaving him out.
You felt tears fill your eyes as you looked up at him. "I know, but... I just want to be normal," you told him dejectedly. "Like you. You don't have to take meds to not become depressed, then why should I?" you questioned sadly.
"darling, look at me," Tom said and you forced yourself to look at him even though you felt like looking away from him. You had lied to him after all, and you felt so bad about that. "There's absolutely nothing wrong with having to take medications," he assured you in a serious tone. "I know plenty of people who do and it doesn't make you any less normal. There is nothing wrong with you. You just need some help, like we all do sometimes."
"But I need more help than most people do," you objected sadly. You felt inferior because of it.
"And there's nothing wrong with that. We are all different, as we should be. How boring it would be if we all were the same," Tom said insistently. He was dead set on making you feel better about yourself, you could tell from the determination on his face. You smiled weakly at him, you didn't want to make it all too difficult for him by arguing about why there was something wrong with you taking medications. After all, a lot of people did and you didn't think there was anything wrong with anyone else taking medications for whatever reason they had to do it.
"You're right, Tom," you said and felt your smile widen as you saw his face light up. He looked so beautiful. "I'm sorry I lied to you."
"And I'm sorry you felt like you had to lie, rather than talking to me about it," Tom replied and gently caressed your cheek with his hand, cupping it. You leaned into his touch and sighed in content. It felt good to finally get the weight off your shoulders and come clean about it.
"I knew you would convince me to keep taking them," you admitted embarrassedly. "That's why I didn't want to talk it through."
"I see," Tom replied with a knowing look on his face. "How about discussing it now?"
"I don't think we have to," you replied, already having made up your mind. Why risk going back to being depressed, if taking those pills could help fight it off by helping your brain chemistry? You didn't really suffer from any side effects, you had just wanted to stop taking them in order to feel more normal. "I'm going to keep taking them," you told him decidedly.
"Really?" Tom asked, smiling at you.
"Really," you confirmed.
"You know what?" Tom said and looked at you lovingly. You shook your head at him in response. "I'm proud of you."
You smiled as you hugged him hard in response. As his strong arms embraced you, you felt safe and strengthened, as if you could handle anything as long as you had Tom by your side.
