the good old days - THE STROKES

Part Sixteen - Pursuit of Being Spontaneous

My Apartment, Manhattan, NYC

Saturday, May 24th, 1997

Maya Sørensen

I lock the door behind me as I enter my apartment, sighing. In pursuit of being spontaneous, I dyed my hair, got a new wardrobe, and invited a random guy to my art exhibit. Nick seems like a good person and I don't know why but something about him was so appealing to me. He was super fucking hot and don't just me started on his height but it wasn't about that. He was funny, kind, and caring. Maybe I just liked that there's a chance that I can have a good romantic experience. Maybe I just like Nick because I know he can give that to me. Whatever it was, this is happening and I can't take it back, I don't want to. No more regrets, just choices that I live with. I promised myself not to fall in love with a guy ever again but this doesn't have to be love, just a little bit of fun.

I go to the kitchen and place my bags on the counter, pulling open the fridge door, empty. Of course, I bought everything today but the one thing I needed, groceries. "Ah, shit.", I mumble, slamming the fridge closed. Tiredly, I stumble into the lounge room, the alcohol taking effect. Plopping myself down on the couch, I lay for a moment, thinking about my life. All my hard work, all the energy I put into my art, it all leads up to tomorrow. Everything I've dreamed of is coming true. I'm doing an art exhibit at the Museum of Modern Art. I'm doing an art exhibit at the Museum of Modern Art. Yet, somehow, I don't feel anything. At all.

I lean forward, grabbing one of many photo books from the coffee table drawer. The cover reads, 'Denmark 1991'. I flip through the pages, most of them being landscape photos of Copenhagen and Silkeborg. Some photos are of John with his ex-wife, Jeanie, I think her name was. I remember they divorced after I went home from this trip with them and their family, I remember because that's when I stopped being able to see John. Mom wouldn't let us go on trips or anything after that, we couldn't even meet up on my birthday, it was like my godfather didn't exist after that.

There were also photos of a young girl, it wasn't me so it took me a moment to try and remember who else was on the trip but I just couldn't. My childhood memories of this time, from when I was 8-10 years old have disappeared. I just conclude that it must be John's daughter, he isn't close to her anymore, never talks about her. I'm pretty sure she ran away from home after John and Jeanie divorced.

The last page of the book is a photo of all of us, we're standing at the top of this tourist attraction in Silkeborg, John was carrying me on his shoulder, Jeane stood next to him, their daughter and Julian in her arms. I stare at Julian's young face, he wasn't smiling, neither was his sister, nor his mother. Bad timing, I guess, only John and I were prepared for the photo with big grins.

I put the book back and pull out another one, this one didn't have a title on the cover, it was just plain and old looking, the fabric faded. I open it up and take in the first page. My father and mother are looking back at me, they hug each other, looking directly into the camera. They look so young, so happy. The next photo is of mom sitting in front of a birthday cake. 'Happy 18th Bday', was spelled out messily in icing. Today on my eighteen birthday, what are the odds? Mom was eighteen when she had me as well. I guess teenage pregnancies run in the family.

The fetus would be almost four months old at this point, the size of a small coconut, I read that in a pamphlet a nurse gave me at the abortion clinic. It made me laugh. I try not to think about the abortion or Julian, which is difficult when John talks about him frequently. I deal with it though, John can never find out.

Flipping to the next page, teenage John and Mom sit on a couch together, his arm wrapped around her while they're both laughing. It's strange to see when John and my parents were friends, all those years ago. With the state of their relationship now, it's impossible to imagine that they all used to be so close. John told me the story of how they all met and became inseparable until college. Mom, Dad, and Jeanie were in high school together in Denmark where they grew up. John was sent away to Denmark by his father after he got caught with cocaine. That's when they all met. John quickly became friends with them and they would spend all of their time together. John told me that he was the person who gave my father his first experience of drugs, if only they knew who it would completely consume his life.

They were always getting high, drunk, or both but they didn't have a lot of money. It was around this time that Mom saw an ad on TV for Miss Denmark and how the winning admissions would get a grand prize. Mom sent in photos of Jeanie and they won. The prize wasn't money like they wanted but then Jeanie started getting modeling jobs and needed someone to manage her. She didn't have enough money for a manager though so John decided to help her out even though he didn't know shit about modeling. Fast forward to today where he owns a successful modeling agency, I think to myself.

My eyelids play heavy, I don't flip to the next page, too tired to move my arm. I fell asleep right there on the couch.

A/N:

This chapter was boring af but important for story building ig. Omg i love next chap tho, like actually probs the most fun ive had writing for this whole story

-2sad2die <3