Shine Extra Large

Momma's Confession

A strong pain hit my whole body. I couldn't open my eyes. "Am I dead?", I tried to move, but I just couldn't. The moment I tried to move with much force, suddenly I heard voices. " Yes mam, your daughter is out of danger, but we have no idea how long she will take to wake up. Let's hope for the best", It's the doctor.

The movement of chairs around was heard. I guess it's mom. I was nervous for some reason. I barely remember being close to my mom. It's a very fuzzy memory. While I was soo immersed in my thoughts, I felt ha hand clutching onto mine. The soft womanly fingers entangled with mine and then she broke down. Mom wasn't sobbing, she was crying out loud. The whole room was silent, except her loud cries. My heart was beating fast. I have never seen my mom like this... Umm sorry, I can't see her, but- I know she isn't taking this well.

Before I could move and show her that I am okay now, she spoke. "I am soo sorry my baby", she cried even more. " I am soo sorry, momma is sorry". She went on. My heart was pounding hard. Those words just literally froze me. "I never wanted this for you, I never did", she sobbed.

" I failed as a mother, I failed to protect you. I was soo lost after your father had gone. It was hard. Evelyn and you- it was soo hard. I thought- being hard on you, will make you a better person. I didn't want you to be a rotten brat, but I was always there when you weren't looking. I protected you from far, but I guess I shouldn't have- I should have been more closer. I trusted the Kingstones with you, it was my biggest mistake, to begin with. I should have been there for you more. Supported you more. Cared for you more. I could have avoided this", mom clutched onto my hand harder. I wanted to cry. This was soo unexpected. This is the first time I ever saw my mom crying, but why now?

Where was she when I needed her the most?

I need to ask her!

I opened my eyes, to see her head resting on the edge of the hospital bed and her hand still holding mine. She looks soo vulnerable.

"Mom" I called her softly. She quickly jolted her head up and looked straight at me. The look in her eyes is something I craved to see for years. The care, the Mother's love.

"Eleanor!" She yelled and hugged me. I could feel wet near my shoulders. She was crying. My mom's fave had gone all red. "Why-Why are you realizing everything now?" I asked. It was important for me, she was my mother after all. Real, biological mother. Why suddenly does she feel guilty id everything?

I saw her slowly place herself on the chair in front of me. "It all started, when your dad was still in the world, right beside me" she smiled and continued. "Your dad was busy with his company, managing all the hotels under the Gellar's corp. I was proud of him, every day was good. I was used to being a housewife, working hard for you and your father. I was 3 months pregnant with your little sister at that time. It was time for your kindergarten school and I was on my way to drop you off. It was a very normal day, same old day routines, but that day was gonna take a big twist. After I bought you back from school, I received a call from your dad's office saying there was a fire", she gulped after stopping for a minute. I know what day she is talking about. I took a deep breath too.

" I took the car keys, dropped you off at Grayson's house and drove off to see your dad. I didn't see his burned up body... I didn't have the courage to. He was my childhood sweetheart after all. After his death, I just don't know how am I gonna handle everything. I had you, I had Evelyn in my womb, but I lost a big piece of ky heart. You used to cry a lot asking for your dad and it just kept making me mad, soo mad that you exactly look like him and seeing you, starting at your eyes is like seeing your dad in front of my eyes. I know it still doesn't justify how I treated you, but every time you were around, I felt your dad. It was hard for me and when you tried to give up your life recklessly, I got the same feeling while I got driving the car to your dad's office last time. I'll lose my heart again. That feeling which blinded me to ignore your existence made my urge to protect you much stronger. I am sorry Eleanor. I was selfish, I - I hurt you soo much throughout the years. I am soo sorry" she cried her heart out. For some reason, I felt fresh. I looked at my mom and felt her hands and smiled at her.

"I forgive you mother and I love you," I said, staring right at her. She laughed and smiled, holding me back in her arms. This feels soo warm. I love this. Momma's confession could be a great start for us.

After the whole mother-daughter love, mom's mood took a serious turn. "why would you do something soo reckless?" She asked me. I looked down at my band-aided wrist.  "Listen here sweetheart, you are the strongest girl I know. Don't let a man be your downfall. I know exactly what happened with the Kingstones, I am sorry for it, but don't let this get to you. Eleanor, you have to fight for your dad's blood sweat and tears. I can only lean on you. I always believed in you. I can't see you break like this. Please darling don't break-I-i can't lose you too", my mom was begging me to live. I smiled. Suddenly everything feels forgiven.

Someone truly said, no one can love you the way your family does. Mine loved me differently... But they did. I smiled and nodded towards my mom. Maybe I can slowly start living.

Hey readers, please don't put hate on her mom. Everyone is different and has different ways of handling situations, but she never stopped loving her.

Anyways, I missed you guys. Don't forget to vote.