Depression and Suicide #Wattys2015

Giving Up On Everything

So, today I decided that I was going to give up pretending to be ok. I'm going to embrace who I am. And that is a sad, lonely, depressed thirteen year old girl. I'm broken, and the only one who can fix me sent his last text to me on July 20, 2014 at 2:59 PM. That was the day that my heart was broken by him. I remember him so well. I deleted the pictures of him from my phone, but they're stuck in my head. I know exactly what he looks like. This kid at my church isn't helping, he looks and acts just like him. It's breaking me, I want to die. I don't know how many times me and my friend Jake have talked about my suicide plan. It's a "joke". He just doesn't know that I'm taking it seriously. The plan is I'm going to overdose, and to make sure I'm dead, Jake is going to shoot me repetitively with a machine gun. It's going to be assisted suicide, and the scary thing is, I've been thinking about it more and more, like how would he react if I told him I'm going through with it. How would he react if he read this. Would he come to the rescue? Would he try to help me like I tried to help him? Would he just stand by and watch? 

I can't take it anymore. Life isn't something that I care for anymore. I'm just a burden to everyone who meets me. My dad even seemed that he wouldn't mind if I wasn't here anymore. I just can't take it!