Wings

More about Me... Great

        Did I see this coming? No, not in a million years. But, I was wrong, and there is nothing I can do about that now; well I mean, nothing besides pick a side. Does that make me a bad person, angel, immortal thing, well I mean, you get my point; at least I hope you do, cause as you'll come to know, explainations arent really my strong suit.  

        I mean, im pretty much an open book; well, minus the whole "immortal/angel" thing I got goin for me. I'm not exactly what you would call a "people person," I hate leaving my house; especially when it involves having to interact with them in order to get something, like pizza, actually it doesnt matter what it is, I hate everyone.

        Have I been in a relationship before? Yes, we were in love, at least I thought we were; turns out I was the only one stupid enough to believe that. He was an angel, but not the sweet and innocent one most people picture; there was and is nothing sweet at Austin Addock. He is what most women would call the perfect guy, dirty blond, tanned skin, deep blue eyes, a panty dropping smile; who wouldnt want to call him hers, but I guess that was the problem.

        His reputation was what you would expect, the smooth talking, womanizing, piece of shit he is; well I mean the last part was my own doing, but you get the point. I thought I had changed him, and so did almost everyone else; I blinded myself to his old ways, not wanting to let my mind even think he would go back to his multiple girls at one time ways. BIG mistake on my part.

        To my credit, for the first year of our realationship he had remainded 100% faithful to me and only me, but then I guess it lost its luster, and slowly but surely, we crumbled. I should have seen it coming, but I didnt want to, I wanted to defiy the odds; and show my mother she was wrong about him, about us, but she is never wrong.

        Before we had ever started dating, Austin and I were like brother and sister; we always had eachothers back, and no matter what anyone said about him, I ALWAYS stood up for him. I went to bat for him more times than I could count, and as much as he has hurt me, I still want him in my life. I dont know if you have ever loved someone like that, and I hate myself  more and more for feeling the way I do, but I cant just turn off my feelings like some can.

        Llyr was friends with Austin first, and when I was about 5 we all started to play together. Eventually my brother and Ausin drifted apart as friends, and apparently it had something to do with Llyr not wanting Austin around me; but that didnt change our evolving friendship. I spent countless years fending off his many girlfriends and one night stands, he always liked the jelous types; this eventually brought us closer together when he realized I would do anything for our friendship.

         When my dad fell, Austin was there for me more than anyone else. He would come over in the mornings, take me to breakfast, then walk me to the training arena and pick me up when I had finished. More times than not he would end up staying the night with me, which at first I thought nothing of; we would wake up in a heap of pillows and blankets infront of the fireplace in my room or tangled in the sheets of my bed. I know how this probably sounds but I honestly never thought anything romantic was happening when I would wake up with my back pressed against his chest, both musclar arms holding me softly in place; I felt safe, and in a way at home.

        But after a while our relationship developed into something more than just friends; he stopped seeing all these different girls, and the one night stands stopped because he was always falling asleep with me. Then one day as we both woke up facing eachother, there was a different form of love swirling in his eyes. "What? Do I have major bed head or something?" He chuckled, "No, your hair is perfect as usual." I stared at him, "Then why are you looking at me like that?"

        He pulled me tighter into his chest, "I love you." I smiled. "I know you do, I love you too." His features became more serious, "No, I mean, I really love you." My mind raced, "You do?" He closed the distance between us, "Yes, I do; very, very, very much." Our lips colided hungrily without another thought, then he grabbed me by my hips and pulled me on top of him, engulfing  me tighter into his strong embrace. As the humans would call it, I lost my V-Card that morning; and I dont regret it.

        Maybe he did do something nice... I just dont like giving him the credit.

        Things between us were amazing for a little over a year, but then as time wore on, we drifted; and then one day, he said it was over. Dont get me wrong I hated him for quite a while, but then when I was cast out, I realized it really didnt matter anymore. I just want him to be happy, even if im not the one making him happy anymore; and one day I want to find someone that will be happy when they call me theirs.