Erotic Book Club (E.B.C) 2021

The Most Beautiful of All Nights (Feedback)

Disclaimer: All reviews are provided directly from the feedback form. None of the reviews have been edited or altered in any way by the hostesses. What you see is what we received.

Fourth book of the session: February 13th - February 26th, 2021

•◌•◌•★•◌•◌•

Reviewer: SSMarie358

Comments: What did you think the book was about?

I believe the story is about Leyla, a slave. And Fenrir, who finds himself attracted to her within seconds of seeing her. Ahh, lust at first sight, and the man wants her for his taking! I also understand there is an ongoing war that is leaving many dead.

Did you feel the book fulfilled your expectations?

The story has a slow start to it, but the catalyst is mentioned within the first chapter! Awesome! There is an ongoing war, and the Northerners are destroying these people's homes. It sounds like the Northerners are winning. Yikes!

What about the plot? Does it pull you in? Or did you feel you had to force yourself to read the book? Any plot holes you may have noticed? Where?

I find it an interesting plot so far. Through the chapters I read, it feels like the author is building onto the plot and laying it out for the reader. I feel like it was mostly the characters being introduced, and the story's main problem is being presented. So far, I don't see any plot holes. I did feel like I have to skip through some parts as the story is heavy with descriptions and written with many helping verbs. I will get into that in a second, though.

Do the characters seem real and believable? Are you able to relate to them as a person and their predicaments? To what extent do they remind you of yourself or someone you know if they do at all?

I didn't connect with the characters. Adding quirks, character flaws, negative traits, and positive traits would make them more believable. What struggles does Leyla face other than suffering from war? I would like to know more about what is going inside her head. Internal dialogue and thoughts could help with this.

How was the pacing of the chapters? Consider if the scenes skipped or jumped randomly. Was it too slow or too fast? Why?

I felt like the story was slow, mostly because of the descriptions. I feel like this is such a strong suit for the author. The vocabulary is impressive and outstanding, and I love the array of beautiful words. But there are a few things I'd love to suggest that would help the reading flow.

"like a lush, green carpet, it covered the enclosed area of the palace's courtyard."

You've written beautiful descriptions throughout your book, and they genuinely paint a fantastic picture of what your characters look like and what they are doing. Many of them are so unique, especially the ones describing the characters, but I don't need every detail. Some descriptions can be shortened.

Some major suggestions to make your writing flow better than ever!

"bewitching scent that her hair gave off." Right here, we can remove the word that, and it would make the sentence flow better. "Bewitching scent her hair gave off."

We use "That" alot. I find this evil, vile word "that" an overused word in your writing. Eliminate him with a vengeance!! If the word is accompanied with "Just" delete him too, and you'll find your sentences flowing so much better,

Sometimes helping verbs are useful to have other times, we can overuse them. Here is an example of when we can drop the helping verbs to have an active voice instead of passive.