Journeys of the Heart

#5 New Year

All I wanted was a happily ever after. That's what all little girls have been told and have kept in their hearts ever since they were told their first fairytales. It's those bedtime stories that gave little girls like you (if you're a girl reading this), and like me, the false hope of finding that right guy. As we grow up, we start to figure out that there won't be a Prince Charming riding a white horse coming to save us. There won't be a prince to come kiss us and wake us up from our never-ending sleep. We're not asleep. Reality IS the nightmare. But in every nightmare, there's going to be a kick that wakes us up. Even if it's just ending this certain dream, it gives back a bit more hope that the horrid realization, that Prince Charming doesn't and never will exist, had destroyed. My "kick" was the best start of the New Year.

December 24, 2014 4:30 pm

It was finally winter break. After a long stressful week of exams, school had finally let us out to enjoy the winter wonderland that we were all waiting for. I walked through the school gates and breathed in the icy air. The smell of freedom. At least freedom for another month or so before school resumed. My friends already left and traveled to their vacation spots the day before since they didn't have any exams on the last day. That left me alone to finish up my last exam today. I honestly didn't mind that they decided to leave first; it wasn't uncommon for them to leave before school officially closed for the holidays. All of my friends were in wealthy families. They had personal drivers, more than one house, more than two cars, at least 1 condo, and to top it all off, they traveled out of the country at least twice a year. For me, I live in a small townhouse that needed serious renovation, having a condo would be a dream come true, and getting to travel out of the country at least once a year was already a miracle. But I'm happy the way my life is. When I grow up, I'll get a job that pays well, buy a big house, and take care of my mother and father as they grow old. 

I walked to the nearest coffee shop to escape the cold. Have I mentioned that winter is my favorite season of all time? I just think that snow falling is cold but extraordinarily beautiful at the same time. But I didn't want to freeze my ass off in the middle of winter; that obviously wouldn't be a good sight. As I was greeted by the rush of warm air and the jiggle of bells taped to the coffee shop door, a pair of dark brown eyes locked with mine. A sudden electric shock went through my body and my face started warm up; at that point the jacket I was wearing wasn't needed anymore because my body was heating me up from the inside out. Obviously, it was stupid of me to just stop in front of the door like that. Moments later, another customer walked through the door, which somehow resulted me with my face planted into the floor seconds later. Perfect. I had to pull a stunt like that in front of a cute guy I just had the most intense staring competition with. 

"Are you okay?"

I'd be over exagerating that whoever this person was, he had the voice of an angel. No kidding. At first I didn't know what to do. Should I look up? What if my nose is bleeding? What if I BROKE my nose? All these questions ran around in my head, but the guy lifted my head up, and at the moment, I was staring into those dark brown eyes again. I didn't know how long we sat there staring at each other, but I broke whatever trance we were, stood up, and walked away. I wasn't ready for it yet. At least not at that moment. That was the first time I saw him, but definitely not the last. 

11:50 pm

"I don't understand why she just ran away. I know I kind of said it was her fault but she shouldn't take it so seriously. I didn't mean it! I'm so stupid. She's always so sensitive about these types of stuff......"

And here we go again. The call started with me helping this guy out with studying for his external exams, and then he had to ruin everything by talking about this girl again. Couldn't we have just one conversation with her being the main subject? I know that he loves her and all that jazz, but I'm not a punching bag that someone can let out all of their bottled up feelings for any time he wanted. Most of the time I try to stay silent. Or I tell him to go talk to her. For once, I wanted to tell him to STFU, but I'm not that mean of a person. Also, not to mention that fact that this has been happening over and over and over again. It was always the same cycle. Staring with Help me do this math problem and then it ends with I miss her so much. What the hell is that all about? I waste my time staying up til midnight when I could be getting my beauty sleep, but I decide to sacrifice that sleep just to stay up with him. And he repays me by talking about her constantly? Do I really mean nothing to him? Am I that unimportant? All I've done is be there for him during his worst. But where was he when I was at my worst? Our friendship was parasitic to me. I wondered how long I would be able to keep this up. And then I realized, why AM I enduring all this bullcrap?

"Hey, are you listening to me?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, so she......."

I really couldn't take it anymore. So what did I do?

"Dude. I'm going. Bye."

"What..."

And I hung up on him.

And that we never talked again.

That night was the most relieving moment of my whole winter break. I blocked him on every social network I used. And the most important thing was, I didn't have to see his face for another month. At this point, I knew that I would be able to get over him. No more hesitation. No more wondering if he will ever come back to me or not because I knew he was far from my reach. No more sitting around waiting for him to message me first, only to find out that it was to help with homework or talk about her. No more. 

December 31, 2014 11:58 pm

I was getting ready for the last 2 minutes of 2014. It was amazing how time flew by so fast. This year wasn't different from any other year. I ate dinner alone, walked around an overcrowded mall alone, and now I'm counting down to for New Years alone. I got used to the loneliness after a couple of years. As I stood on the ballroom balcony of the hotel I was staying at for the night, I wanted patiently for the fireworks. The party inside was hosted by one of my friends who was already in university, and no one really wanted to come outside and enjoy the company of the stars like I did. Sometimes I almost think that the stars are singing. My back was towards the door to the party, and I was blanking out as usual, so I didn't notice a person sliding the door open and walking towards me. 

"We meet again."

I remember that voice. That same voice at the coffee shop. See what I mean when I said it wasn't the last time I'd see him? I turned around to face him and was speechless once again. We started to hear people counting down from inside the ballroom. 

10....

9.....

"Aren't you going to say anything?"

"H-hi." Damn I stuttered. I'm such an idiot.

He chuckled. "You aren't much of a talker, are you?"

Well that's insulting because honestly I'm usually a pretty talkative person, and when someone tells me I'm quiet, I do not take that as a compliment.

"I DO talk. I just don't talk to random strangers I meet at coffee shops."

6.....

5.....

He gave me a playful smirk and walked closer to me. He craned his neck down so his lips were right beside my ear. "We should stop talking," he whispered.

I titled my head like one of those confused cats. He placed in hand under my chin and tilted my head up so I was looking at him. Hot damn, he looked even more good looking up close.

3.....

2.....

1....

My first New Years kiss. A new beginning. 

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Word count: 1496

Such a cliched ending and such a vague plot. Ugh. I'm not getting any better in my writing skills. Forgive me. I should be working on my 4000 word essay, but I'm not... oh well. If my essay could be a fictional story, I would've finished it a long time ago. Too bad it needs to include intext citations, primary sources, introduction, works cited page, headers, and correctly MLA formated.

Life.